


hold my hand (and promise forever)

by geekchic64



Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - High School, F/F, Happy endings for everyone because screw you jason, Slow Burn, they're juniors and slowly falling in love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-04-29
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:04:01
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 23,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6240391
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/geekchic64/pseuds/geekchic64
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The one where Lexa goes to live with her uncle and cousin only to find herself slowly falling in love with the popular girl at school.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys!  
> So like everyone, 3x07 destroyed me. So this fic is basically a giant middle finger to Jason.  
> This first chapter literally has the only angst of the entire story. Slight warning for some minor minor violence, and for a jerk mom.  
> I SWEAR THIS IS GOING TO BE NOTHING BUT LOVE AND HAPPINESS. BECAUSE DANG IT THAT'S WHAT WE DESERVE.  
> I'm going to try to update as quickly as possible, but college is kinda a thing. And super sorry for any typos. It happens.  
> It's gunna be fun, guys!  
> Enjoy X

**Costia [9:07]:** hey

 **Lexa [9:08]:** Hello.

 **Costia [9:10]:** are u busy rn?

 **Lexa [9:10]:** No. Mother’s out and father is working. I’m at home.

 **Costia [9:10]:** ok

 **Costia [9:11]** : can we meet up?

 **Costia [9:11]:** at mill?

 **Lexa [9:16]** : Sure. I can be there in about 15 minutes.

 **Costia [9:17]:** c u then

With a sigh, Lexa locks her phone again and leans her forehead against the steering wheel. She turns to look at the front of the coffee shop that quickly became hers and Costia’s. With one more sigh, Lexa turns off the car, unbuckles, and starts the slow walk over to the coffee shop.

The bell above the door chimes and familiar sights, sounds, and smells greet Lexa.

She ignores it all.

In the back of the shop sits Costia in their usual booth. Her head is down and her brown curls block most of her face.

She doesn’t have a coffee in front of her.

Lexa steels herself and starts the walk back.

_Just like a band-aid…_

Eventually, Costia looks up at Lexa with a small smile – her brown eyes, dull. Lexa sits softly next to her.

It’s quiet. Not the quiet that usually follows them. Not the quiet that is comfortable and safe.

This quiet is heavy.

Costia plays with the rings on her right hand.

Lexa stares at the water stain on the table.

After a moment, Costia sighs.

“Lexa…”

Lexa swallows.

“I know,” she mumbles in return.

Costia reaches over and intertwines her soft hand with Lexa’s.

(She is always soft.)

Lexa stares at the contrasting skin tones, unable to bring herself to look at Costia’s face. If she looks at her eyes, she knows she’ll start crying.

And she really hates crying in public.

But Costia’s thumb starts stroking her hand and “Lexa, please look at me,” is whispered, and suddenly she can’t look away. Brown eyes are swirling with emotion, and Lexa feels her own eyes starting to sting.

She squeezes Costia’s hand.

“We had a good run though, didn’t we?”

Lexa blinks rapidly, trying in vain to keep the tears back. Costia gently wipes a tear away and Lexa breathes out a quiet laugh.

“Yes… Yes, we did.”

And Costia smiles at her, and there’s the smell of coffee embedded into the building and the sounds of people talking and going about their days, but all Lexa sees is Costia’s smile which has kissed hundreds of times.

Lexa watches a tear fall from Costia’s eye before quietly letting go of her hand. Leaning over, Lexa brushes her lips against the tear and soft skin, before pressing her lips to Costia’s.

The kiss tastes bittersweet.

Costia pulls away with a quiet gasp, her eyes closed. Lexa brushes hair away from the other girl’s face before silently slipping out from the booth. Costia opens her eyes as Lexa stands in front of her.

“Goodbye, Costia.”

“Goodbye, Lexa.”

And with one more sad smile, and one more slow nod, Lexa turns and walks out of the coffee shop.

She manages to make it to her car before she lets the first sob go.

*****

The ornate front door clicks shut softly behind Lexa as the girl takes a shuddering breath. The broken exhale is the only thing to shatter the silence of the house. Lexa makes her way through the grand foyer to the kitchen, only to stop short in the archway.

Her Mother’s eyes are like ice as she stares down her daughter, dark liquid swirling around in the glass held in her polished hand.

“Alexandria.”

Lexa swallows and prays her Mother can’t see her red eyes.

“Hello, Mother. I did not expect you home so soon today.”

“Nor did I.”

The silence is suffocating and it takes everything Lexa has to control her fidget.

“Did something arise?”

Her Mother releases a chuckle that is like nails on a chalkboard; it’s sharp and short and has Lexa filled with terror.

“Yes, _Alexandria_ , something did indeed _arise._ ” Her Mother takes a generous sip from her glass before turning her attention back to her daughter. “I was enjoying my beautiful morning earlier, simply basking in my luck of having such a wonderful life and family. When suddenly I received a call, from Colleen. You do remember Colleen, don’t you, Alexandria? Her son is Elijah, that lovely boy who is going to be taking over their family business.”

“Yes, I remember her, Mother,” is all Lexa can manage because she has no idea where this conversation is going – but terror has frozen her bones together, rendering her incapable of escape. Or of doing anything other than stand there as her Mother gives her a smile saturated with contempt.

“Well Colleen called me, in the middle of my beautiful morning filled with beautiful things, and you simply will not believe what she told me.” And she pauses, waiting for Lexa to respond to her. Waiting, like a hunter watching its prey slowly step into their trap.

“What did she tell you, Mother?” The words are barely choked out.

Another sip of the drink.

“She said that she saw you at a quant café this morning.”

(The trap slams shut.)

“Yes, I do believe she said it was the café on 3rd and Main.”

(It breaks a leg, bites into bone.)

“She said that you were not alone. In fact, she told me you were with someone.”

(She’s stuck, she can’t move. She’s bleeding and it hurts, but she can’t escape.)

“A girl.”

(She’s panicking – a storm raging in her chest, stealing her air. She’s choking – _oh god_ she can’t breathe.)

“She told me she saw the two of you kissing.”

(Numb. She is numb. Ice replaces the marrow in her bones, and she is numb. To the pain. To the world. To everything.)

The glass is tipped back and the liquid is completely gone. Her Mother stares at her, her eyes dead and unblinking. Lexa can feel her heart thundering behind her ribs, her chest heaving up and down. It’s futile, attempting to keep the panic attack at bay, Lexa’s hands beginning to shake.

Her Mother continues to stare her down.

“I told her it wasn’t true, of course. No, she was wrong. Simply seeing things – mistaken. There was absolutely _no way_ _my_ daughter, _my_ _Alexandria_ , would _ever_ fall victim to such _monstrosities._ No, I told Colleen. No. _My_ Alexandria does not participate in such _vile_ and _immoral_ acts.” Her Mother draws in a deep breath, a terrifying calm soothing her features. The cheery smile drips with venom. “Isn’t that right, Alexandria?”

And all Lexa can do is stand there shaking, internally cursing herself. For slipping up. For getting caught. For the tears that make her eyes burn. For the way the spill over and race down her cheeks. For the way she is rooted to the ground in a pure terror she has never felt before.

_She can’t breathe._

“Mother, I –”

The glass is thrown at the wall by her head, shattering into millions of tiny pieces all around her. Lexa flinches away at the same time her Mother stands up.

“Get out of my house.”

Lexa sobs, curling into herself, as shattered as the glass on the floor around her.

“Mother, please, I didn’t mean –“

Her Mother rushes up to her, and Lexa can see the red streaks in her eyes, can smell the liquor on her breath. She sobs harder.

“Do you have any idea how embarrassing that was for me? To have Colleen, _Colleen_ , call me, and tell me those things about you?” She takes a deep breath, nostrils flaring. “I am no longer your Mother,” and it wraps around Lexa’s throat, choking out any air, keeping her from breathing, moving, making any type of noise. She stares in horror at her Mother. Stares as the woman in front of her becomes a statue with a permanent sneer on her face. “You are not my daughter.”

Those words are like a kick to the gut, vaulting Lexa in motion again. She stumbles forward to her Mother, hands outstretched to hold onto her hands, hair, clothes, anything she can grab. “No, please, I’m sorry, Mother, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean – please – I can’t – It’s over –“

She registers the sharp sound piercing the air before the stinging in her left cheek.

Lexa brings her hands up to try to sooth the pain as she stares at her Mother in shock. The older woman is openly panting, looking at Lexa with such a wild look in her eye, Lexa can’t help but shrink further away.

“I will _not_ tolerate such filth under my roof. I have to go finish my errands that were interrupted earlier, and you will be gone by the time I come back, is that understood.”

“Mother, _please_!”

“You are no longer a part of this family. Do not expect me or your father to reach out to you. Do not try to reach out to us. You are done here.”

And her Mother pushes past her, glass crunching under her heels. Lexa holds her breath until she hears the front door open and then slam shut. Arms shaking, she reaches back to blindly feel for the wall before sliding down it. She draws her knees up to her chin, wraps her arms around her legs, and she cries. She sobs. She screams.

She breaks.

For losing her girlfriend and her family in the same day – mere minutes apart.

She cries until she can cry no more.

 _Enough, Lexa. This is your life now, and you must keep moving forward. There’s no point in crying over things you cannot change_.

So she shuts down. She pushes herself off the floor and stands on shaky legs, calmly wipes her tears away, and makes her way upstairs. She ignored the photos that line the walls, only staring blankly ahead until she reaches her room.

Lexa takes only a moment to look over her large room and then she walks over to her closet to grab a suitcase.

Methodically, Lexa neatly folds as much of her clothing as she can fit into her bag. She walks into her connected bathroom to grab her toothbrush and comb.

The reflection in the mirror makes her pause.

Her eyes are puffy and red, making the green in them seem almost electric. Her face is pale, making her look ill.

She doesn’t recognize herself.

Lexa blinks and lowers her eyes before turning back for her room.

Once the suitcase is filled and zipped shut, Lexa feels her heart stop (again).

“Where am I going to go…?” She bites her trembling lip to keep from crying.

She doesn’t really have any close friends from school. She knows she can’t go to Costia. She doesn’t really have any family – especially family she’s _close_ to. She’s only seventeen, she can’t, _shouldn’t_ , really be on her on yet.

She has no one.

… Well … Almost no one.

Lexa walks over to her desk to open her laptop.

_It’s definitely a long shot, but it’s not like I have any other options at the moment…_

She pulls up Facebook and quickly begins searching for a name, praying they’re actually on Facebook.

For once during this horrible day, luck seems to be on her side. Lexa quickly clicks on the button to type out a message.

_Hello Uncle Gustus,_

_I understand that we have not really spoken much, that our families are not necessarily close, and that this is quite out of the blue. For that, I apologize. I would have preferred reaching out prior to now, but, unfortunately, I seem to have no other choice._

_Please feel free to ignore this – you are under no obligation to accept or even consider accepting. I just do not exactly have any other options at the moment._

Lexa takes a deep breath and looks up to blink the tears back before going back to typing, fingers hesitant over the keys.

_An … incident has occurred with my family (do not worry, everyone is fine), and I have suddenly found myself without a home. Again, I understand that we are not particularly close, but you are the only real family I have. Or at least know, if only a little bit._

_Which leads me to ask if you would be willing to open your doors to me temporarily. I only have one more year until I am eighteen and graduate high school, where I would then be able to support myself. I can obtain a job in the meantime in order to provide rent._

_I will understand completely if you do not wish for me to stay with you. I do not want to burden you and your family. I am truly sorry for putting you in this position._

_Thank you for at least reading this message._

_I hope all is well,_

_Lexa_

She rereads the message at least ten times before hovering over the ‘send’ button.

Lexa thinks of the sound of shattering glass and clicks.

*****

Lexa only has to sit numbly at her desk for ten minutes before a reply comes. Her heart skips a beat at the sound, forcing her mind to start thinking of who else she could go to. She holds her breath as she opens the message from her Uncle.

_I can be there in about two hours._

And Lexa collapses in her chair, head falling into her hands as she is once again overcome with sobs. The sound of a new message has her looking back up, blinking to see through her tears.

_If you send me your phone number, I can call you when I get close._

Lexa is about to start typing her number in reply, when another message is sent through.

_And you’re not a burden, Lexa. You’re family._

The tears come harder.

*****

Lexa puts on her bookbag that holds her laptop, chargers, and two of her favorite books, and is about to grab her suitcase when she stops. On her nightstand holds one picture frame that has Lexa’s heart hurting the worst.

It’s a photo of her and her younger brother, Aden. She had surprised him by taking him to the local carnival during the summer. They had gone on all of the rides, played all of the games (practically going broke in the process), and ate far too much fried food. She and Aden had laughed until they cried, had smiled until they were sure their faces would be stuck like that.

It was one of the happiest nights of her life.

The photo was a ridiculous selfie of the two of them. Lexa had her face painted to make it look like she was wearing war paint, and Aden had a painted lightning bolt on his forehead and round glasses around his eyes. Both of them were pulling a funny face in the photo.

Lexa took the picture frame, and flipped it over to open up the back. She slid her bookbag off and took out one of her books. Slipping the picture out of the frame, she gently placed it in a random spot in her book, before placing it back in her bag.

She walked back over to her desk to take out a piece of paper and a pen.

Lexa wasn’t going to leave without saying goodbye to Aden – even if she couldn’t do it in person. He was her entire world. Even though he was two years younger than her, Aden always understood Lexa, and Lexa always understood Aden. In a house of tense silence, of work coming before family, of gossip and secrets, they only had each other. And they had promised that they would always be there for one another – they would never leave the other behind.

So it hurts Lexa’s heart so much she feel like she might actually die, because she’s doing just that: leaving Aden. She won’t be able to protect him or take care of him anymore. She won’t be able to remind him that there is an entire world outside of this house.

She has to get a new piece of paper when her falling tears smear the ink too much.

*****

_Aden,_

_I just want to say that I’m so sorry. I didn’t want this to happen – I never planned on ever leaving you._

_But I have to go. You know how crazy Mother can be. Which I’m so incredibly sorry that I’m leaving you with her. I wish I could bring you with me, but she would probably tell the police that I kidnapped you – you and I both know she would do something like that._

_Aden, don’t let her break you. Remember that you are strong, kind, brave, and are filled with so much compassion. I am so lucky to be able to call you my little brother. You are going to change the world, I just know it._

_And, who knows, maybe you’ll be able to have my car once you get your license. Which reminds me – don’t text and drive. It’s completely stupid and if you die in a car accident because you couldn’t wait a few minutes to send a message, I will bring you back to life just to kill you myself. I’m serious._

_I’m going to be staying with Uncle Gustus. Mother is probably going to shut off my phone as soon as possible, so I’m going to leave you his phone number. I’ll get in contact with you once I have my own number._

_Have fun during the rest of your freshman year of high school, you nerd. Take a chance on something new, and take a lot of photos._

_I’ll come back for you as soon as I can._

_I love you so much._

_\- Lexa_

*****

Two hours pass very quickly when it’s spent preparing to leave the house one grew up in. After Lexa put her letter on Aden’s bed, she carried her bags down to the front door. She walked back to the kitchen, carefully stepping over the broken glass.

If she was getting kicked out of her house, she was at least going to make herself lunch before she left.

Lexa was just putting her plate in the sink when her phone rang.

“Hello?”

“Hi Lexa, it’s your uncle Gus,” a deep voice replies. Lexa swallows.

“Hi uncle Gustus,” Lexa says and leans back against the granite countertop.

“I’m basically here, kiddo. I just need the code for the front gate.”

“Oh, yes, of course. It’s 8615. I’ll be waiting outside. Do you remember which house it is?”

“Yeah, I remember. I’ll be there in a minute.”

“Okay. Thank you, again. For doing this.” Lexa felt her face burn slightly. She was never completely comfortable with asking for help.

“Of course, Lexa. See you in a second.”

“Goodbye.”

Lexa puts her phone back in her pocket and walks to the front door, but stops at the one family portrait in the hallway.

They looked too professional for a family. Too forced, stiff. Her smile was so small.

Lexa turns away and grabs her bags.

She leaves the house without another sound.

Lexa only has to wait a few seconds before a large black truck rumbles up the road. She grips her bags tighter and begins walking down the long driveway towards the truck. It’s parked and a large man gets out to greet Lexa. He has long dark hair, huge muscles, and a face tattoo. Lexa had seen her uncle’s profile picture – him on a motorcycle with a large dog sitting on the road next to him – but she still wasn’t completely prepared to meet her uncle. It had been years since she had seen him.

Yet the biggest difference between her uncle and her parents wasn’t the long hair, or the muscles, or the truck, or even the face tattoo.

It is the way he grins at her, yells, “Lexa!” and picks her up in a bear hug as if she weighs nothing. She is barely able to cautiously wrap her arms around the man, before she’s back on the ground. Her uncle grins at her again.

“Hello, uncle Gustus. It is nice to see you again,” Lexa says with a polite smile.

“Sure is, kid! Man, I haven’t seen you in forever. It’s been, what, ten years?” And Lexa can only smile uncomfortably as her uncle shakes his head sadly. “Oh well! You’re going to be staying with me, so we’ll have plenty of time to catch up. Lemme get your stuff in the truck and we can head off.” He moves to take her bags and put them in the bed of the truck. “Is this everything?” He asks, with his back to Lexa, lifting the bags.

Lexa closes her eyes and sighs.

“Yes.”

“That’s alright. If you need anything else we can always go out later. Or,” and he turns back to Lexa, a serious look on his face, “I can always come back here to get anything for you. I don’t know what happened, and you don’t have to let me know, but I’ll take care of ya, okay?”

It surprises them both when Lexa moves in to hug her uncle. She buries her face in his chest, and he wraps her up in a strong hug.

“Thank you,” she whispers. She feels her uncle place a kiss on the top of her head.

“I told you, you’re family, Lexa. Family takes care of family. Always.”

Lexa steps out of the hug and quickly swipes under her eyes.

“Still. I appreciate this more than you know.”

And uncle Gustus just smiles at her.

“Alright, enough of this emotional crap. If you have everything you need, we can head on back.” Uncle Gustus ruffles her hair before walking around to get in the other side of the truck. Lexa walks over to the passenger door, but stops before getting in.

She turns and looks at the house she grew up in. A house she never thought she’d be kicked out of.

She turns, gets in the truck, and doesn’t look back.

Once she’s buckled, she looks to her uncle, to see him smiling at her.

“Now, how about some ice cream?”

Lexa feels her eyebrows furrow, looking to the clock in the truck.

“But uncle Gustus… It’s barely past noon.”

He pulls away from the house, driving out of the neighborhood.

“You know what, you’re completely right,” and Lexa nods but stops when uncle Gustus grins back over at her, mischief shining in his eyes. “We should have gotten ice cream a while ago.”

They drive out of the neighborhood, away from Lexa’s old life. And she should feel sad and heartbroken and she should be crying for everything she’s lost – which she _did_ , she still _does_. But those aren’t the emotions that have control of her heart right now.

She is going into something completely foreign, something totally brand new. She has absolutely no idea what’s in store.

But, she realizes with a small, quiet smile, for the first time in a very long time…

She feels hopeful.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, that might have been a bit wild, but the happiness starts in the next chapter - and it won't ever stop.
> 
> Thank you so very much for reading! It means the world to me!
> 
> Come say hey and talk headcanons at whatwordsmiss.tumblr.com :)


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all so much for all of the wonderful feedback! It truly means the world to me! It also totally motivated to write this chapter as fast as I could (wink wink).  
> Enjoy! X

“No. Absolutely not.”

“Okay, but would you please just listen to me? I –“

“I have been listening to you. And the answer is still no.”

“Uncle Gustus, please –“

“ _No,_ Lexa. And that’s final. There is no way I’m going to allow you to pay me rent. You are _family_. You are staying _with_ family. We take care of our people – no questions asked, no assumptions made. Now we have sat here for the last ten minutes. So you can either waste your breath trying to convince me to allow you to pay me – which isn’t going to happen – or you can hop your butt out of this truck and go pick up the pizza.”

Lexa crosses her arms and purses her lips. Uncle Gustus speaks again, trying to draw Lexa out. Trying to make her smile again.

“It’s probably getting cold just sitting in there. All alone. Waiting. Feeling abandoned. In such a dark and scary box.” He waits until Lexa looks over at him to pout. “Think of the pizza, Lexa. _Think of the pizza_.”

Lexa shakes her head because this _brute_ of a man with a long beard and a _face tattoo_ is pretending to cry over pizza.

But she can’t stop the smallest smile from pulling at her lips.

“Fine,” she rolls her eyes while sighing and unbuckling. Uncle Gustus grins at Lexa and hands her cash.

“Pick up a thing of your favorite soda while you’re in there.”

“Thank you, but I do not drink soda,” Lexa says as she takes the money from her uncle. Or at least tries to because suddenly her uncle is holding the money in a vice-like grip. Lexa looks up to see him staring at her in horror.

“… What?”

Uncle Gustus blinks. He slowly shakes his head, loosening his grip on the money.

“How can you not drink soda…” He continues shaking his head, but this time in disbelief. “Wait, lemme guess. You’re a juicer, aren’t you? You probably hand squeeze your own orange juice in the morning. Wait – oh, ew, just please don’t tell me you drink that seaweed stuff. Because Lexa, I love you, and _you’re not paying me rent_ , but there’s no way I’m going to allow seaweed juice into my house. Nuh-uh, kid. That’s where I draw the line.”

Lexa just rolls her eyes and leaves the truck. She walks towards the pizza parlor as she hears her uncle roll down the window to call out to her.

“If you get a bottle of coke, we can stop somewhere to pick up lemons and a straw for you!”

His loud laughter follows her into the pizza parlor.

*****

Lexa and Uncle Gustus eventually pull up to the house. The neighborhood is definitely different from Lexa’s old one – there’s no gated entrance, not every house had a pool, there didn’t seem to be a need to have excessive _things_ to impress strangers. It was a modest neighborhood, filled with modest houses. Even Uncle Gustus’ house was a simple two-story house with blue shutters and a tall tree in the front yard.

Lexa fell in love almost immediately.

“Alright, kid, we’re home,” Unlce Gustus says as he parks the truck in the short driveway. He pushes a button to open one of the garage doors, and Lexa notices a basketball hoop attached to the garage. “If you bring in the pizzas and soda, I’ll bring in your bags.”

They both get out of the truck and Lexa waits for her uncle to lead them into the house. The walk through the garage filled with toolboxes, various buckets and things, and what looks like a covered motorcycle. Uncle Gustus uses his foot to push down the door handle and pushes his way inside. Lexa just quirks an eyebrow at the action.

Lexa takes a deep breath, grips the pizza box a little tighter, and follows him in.

The first thing Lexa notices is the smell of the house; where her old house smelled like nothing but _clean_ and _sterile_ , this house smelled like … Chocolate chip cookies? Lexa looked at the back of her huge uncle and simply could not imagine him baking cookies.

(In fact, the image of him wearing a pink apron and a chef’s hat has her softly chuckling to herself.)

The second thing Lexa notices about the house, are all of the warm colors and picture frames that fill the walls. It’s inviting and eccentric and everything a house – a _home_ – should feel like.

Lexa’s grip on the pizza box loosens.

It immediately tightens again when the third thing Lexa notices is loud, booming barking coming from behind her.

Lexa barely manages to jump behind her uncle before a huge dog would have barreled into her.

 _Seriously – why is everyone so_ massive _around here?!_

Uncle Gustus laughs as he puts down Lexa’s bags and talks to the dog.

“Down, Titus, _down!_ ” He squats down to pet the dog giving Lexa a chance to really look at the beast.

She knew her uncle probably had a dog based on it being in his Facebook profile picture – but this? This was not a dog.

This is a small horse.

A small, yellow horse, who is currently laying belly up, tongue lolling out of the side of his mouth, as his owner rubs his belly.

Uncle Gustus turns his head to look up at Lexa and laughs at the expression on her face.

“Relax, kid. Titus won’t hurt ya.” His words must have reminded the dog that Lexa was there, because he suddenly scrambles back over to his paws to gallop over to Lexa. He sits at her feet, tail wagging a mile a minute. He barks, making Lexa jump a foot in the air. Uncle Gustus stands up, takes the boxes and soda from Lexa, and laughs again. “Lemme guess: you’ve never had a dog before.”

Lexa shakes her head.

“Mother would not allow for it.”

Her uncle mumbles something under his breath, but it was too quiet for Lexa to hear.

With nothing left to hold in her hands, and with the beast sitting (not so) patiently in front of her, Lexa tentatively reaches out a hand to pet the top of his head. The dog enthusiastically meets her halfway, tail still ferociously wagging.

“Well as you can see, Titus is basically as friendly as it gets.” The dog is practically smiling at Lexa as she scratches behind his ears, and she feels herself involuntarily smiling back. “Honestly, he’s too much of an idiot to be anything else,” her uncle finishes with a laugh.

Titus barks in reply, making Uncle Gustus laugh harder.

Lexa slowly squats down so she’s eye level with the dog.

“… Hello, Titus. I am Lexa,” and it’s not as though the dog even understands what she’s saying, but for some reason it feels right for her to introduce herself. Titus must agree because he starts licking Lexa’s face. Lexa scrunches up her face as the dog slobbers all over her.

“See, he likes you!”

Lexa stands back up and wipes her face with her shirt sleeve. “… I suppose he does.” Her uncle only laughs harder and Titus makes his way over to a spot on the kitchen floor and flops down. His tail wags when he sees Lexa watching him.

“Alright, here are some plates, and the cups are in that cabinet over there. Help yourself to some pizza, there’s water on the fridge, and some other stuff inside I think. Feel free to dig around. I’m gunna go get Anya.”

Uncle Gustus walks past her and down the hallway. Lexa gulps and grabs a cup to fill it with water, her mouth suddenly dry.

It’s been a very long time since she’s seen her cousin. Lexa was probably nine and Anya ten. She has no idea who Anya had grown into, and she is very nervous to unofficially meet her again.

“Anya!” Lexa hears her uncle shout. “Pizza’s here!” He looks at Lexa from the end of the hallway. “Oh, and Lexa!” He winks at her, and she feels herself calming down slightly.

_He’s already accepted you into his home, Lexa. You used to play with Anya when you two were younger. Relax. You are being absurd right now._

Lexa takes a sip of her water and her back straightens, head rises, when she hears footsteps thundering down the stairs. She leans back against the counter and takes a deep breath.

Uncle Gustus walks into the kitchen and behind him follows Anya. She is a year older than Lexa, but already Lexa can tell that Anya is a few inches taller. The older girl has an angular face, long blonde hair, and dark cautious eyes.

It startles Lexa how she looks just like Anya’s mom.

Uncle Gustus stands in between the two girls and stretches his arms from his sides.

“Anya, you remember Lexa. Lexa, this is Anya.”

Both girls nod at each other.

“Yeah, of course; hey Lexa. It’s been some time,” Anya greets, and her smile and voice are both professional, but not cold.

“Hello, Anya. It is nice to see you again. I hope you have been well,” Lexa replies with a polite smile.

Anya gives a short hum.

There’s a beat of silence.

And then another.

The three members of the kitchen simply stand there.

Lexa’s palms sweat.

Titus wags his tail.

“Right, well,” Uncle Gustus breaks the silence with gusto, “I’m just going to grab myself a slice of pizza or five and go watch some TV,” and the kitchen is in motion again. Uncle Gustus goes to the pizza boxes, Anya grabs a cup and fills it with soda, Lexa grabs a slice of cheese pizza from her uncle with a soft _thank you_ , and Titus watches them all from his spot on the floor.

Anya and Uncle Gustus make their way into the conjoined family room with their plates and cups, walking right by the kitchen table. Lexa pauses, her own food and drink in her hand, and stares at the table for a moment.

“You can come eat in here if you want,” Anya calls from her spot on the long sofa next to her dad. There’s a loveseat adjacent to it, which Anya nods her head to.

“Yeah, come join us, Lexa! You can pick out what show we watch,” her uncle encourages her. Lexa looks down at her feet where Titus is laying. He looks up at her. Blinks. His tongue lolls out of the side of his mouth.

Lexa smiles and walks into the living room.

(She hears Titus clamber up from the kitchen floor and isn’t surprised to see him lay down in front of the loveseat she sits in.)

(Lexa has apparently found herself a shadow.)

(… It makes her happy.)

Lexa sets her glass of water down on one of the coasters and takes a bite of her greasy pizza as her Uncle speaks to her again.

“So what do ya wanna watch, kid?” Lexa finishes chewing, swallows, and wipes her mouth with a napkin before going to answer her uncle. Only for him to continue speaking before she can, of course. “Wait, you _do_ watch TV, don’t you?” He grins at Lexa, and she can feel the tips of her ears start burning. Anya looks at him with a raised eyebrow. “Your cousin doesn’t drink soda, so I’m just assuming that she also doesn’t do other normal things.”

Anya looks over to Lexa with a smirk, “what, are you some kind of juicer or something?”

Lexa rolls her eyes as her uncle booms with laughter – so hard Lexa is almost positive the house shakes. He bends over and slaps his legs as he continues roaring with laughter, Anya laughing right along with him – albeit much quieter and more controlled.

“Aw, _damn_ , Anya. That’s exactly what I said!” Uncle Gustus swipes under his eyes, grin still taking over his face. He then claps Anya on her back, pushing her forward a little bit. “That’s why you’re my favorite kid.”

Anya rolls her eyes and punches her dad in the arm. “I’m your only kid, dumbass.”

Uncle Gustus only grins wider and raises his glass in a toast.

“Lucky for you then,” he finishes with another loud laugh.

“Oh _shut up_ , old man,” Anya joins in with her own loud laughter.

Lexa watches the two of them sitting comfortably next to each other on the sofa, plates of pizza on their laps, as they easily joke and laugh. It’s such a strange sight to her, but she chuckles along with them, making Titus’ ears perk up. Lexa bends down slightly to scratch behind his one ear.

 _A family dinner_ , she thinks. _This is what a real family dinner is like_.

Lexa only wishes her brother was here with her.

*****

After dinner and an episode of Law and Order: SVU per Anya’s request, Uncle Gustus leads Lexa up to her new room. They walk up the stairs, the walls filled with even more photos – far too many for Lexa to take in during her walk – and then down the hallway. Uncle Gustus points out each room on their walk.

“So this room is my room, and that one right there is the bathroom. You’ll be sharing it with Anya. It’s got two sinks and a shower so you guys should be fine. I mean, I know what it’s like with the hair thing, especially with my own luscious locks, but you have to deal with the whole makeup thing, too, I guess. I dunno. I usually just go natural – I feel like it’s my best look,” he grins at Lexa, who just quirks an eyebrow in return.

“Don’t be a hater, kid. Not everyone is blessed with looks as good as mine.”

“If that is the case, then I am sure we are all the lucky ones,” Lexa smoothly replies.

Uncle Gustus stops in his tracks to look at her with his mouth dropped open, shock coloring his features.

(Lexa ignores the nervousness clenching around her stomach.)

( _He jokes around. It’s fine, Lexa. You are okay._ )

( _Why did I have to open my mouth?! It was rude and inappropriate. You should know better, Lexa.)_

_(It’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine, it’s fine.)_

“Oh my god…” Uncle Gustus whispers. He suddenly grins and drops one of Lexa’s bags to clasp a giant hand down on one her shoulders. “She sasses back! I’m so proud of you, Lexa!” And Lexa just smiles and rolls her eyes, jutting her chin towards the rest of the hallway.

“Come on, Uncle Gustus, you still have more rooms to show me.”

(Her heart slows back down to normal in her chest.)

Uncle Gustus picks up the bag. “Why do I have a feeling like the sass dam was just broken with you?” He looks over his shoulder to see Lexa smirking at him. He smiles and points to another door. “This one is the computer room. It’s kinda small, but it’s nice if you need to do some work. This room is Anya’s, and the one right next to hers is your room!”

Uncle Gustus opens the door to Lexa’s new room. It’s a medium sized room (although smaller than her old one), with light blue walls, and two windows looking out to the backyard.

(She sees that the yard leads into the woods. The vast amount of trees makes her feel peaceful. They make her feel happy.)

The room also had a bunkbed.

“Yeah,” Uncle Gustus says as he sets her bags down by the dresser. “Sorry about the bunkbed. We used to have my other niece and nephew spend a few nights when they were younger. We just never got rid of it. Better to have two beds and only need one, than only have one and need two, right? But Anya cleaned through while I was picking you up. The dressers and stuff are empty and the sheets are clean.”

Lexa smiles over to her uncle.

“I’ve never had a bunkbed before. It’s wonderful. Thank you, Uncle Gustus. Truly.” Lexa feels pressure begin to build behind her eyes. Uncle Gustus slowly makes his way over to her, and softly wraps her up in a hug. Lexa practically melts against him.

“I will always be here for you, Lexa,” he mumbles into her hair. Lexa feels a tear escape. “You will always have a safe place here with us. You don’t need to keep thanking me for doing what’s right, kid.”

Lexa squeezes her eyes shut and burrows deeper into the hug. She ignores the pounding of her heart, takes a deep breath, and speaks before she can convince herself otherwise.

“I’m gay.” She still feels her uncle’s arms wrapped around her, still can hear his steady heartbeat in his chest. So she takes another, deeper breath, and speaks again. “That’s why… That’s why I was kicked out. Mother – well, one of Mother’s friends, she saw me. With my girlfriend at a coffee shop. She called Mother and told her and then she confronted me when I got home. I tried explaining to her that I was sorry and that the relationship was over. We were only there to end it with each other. I tried talking to her about it, I really did. But she was just so _angry_ and _drunk_ and it’s not like it’s anything _new_ because it’s _Mother_. But I just… I just thought she could…”

The walls inside of Lexa shatter completely and she releases everything. She sobs into her uncle’s chest as he strokes her hair and softly shushes her.

“It’s okay, Lexa. You’re okay,” he whispers.

But it’s _not_. She’s _not_ okay. She lost her girlfriend. And her family. And her _brother_.

She lost her entire world and _she’s not okay_.

So she cries.

Uncle Gustus slowly leads her over to sit down on the bed. Lexa practically crawls into his lap, and he slowly rocks her back and forth. She feels like a small child in his arms.

But she also feels safe. She feels protected. She feels like – even though she’s not _right now_ – maybe one day, she’ll be okay again.

After what feels like hours, Lexa eventually calms down. She sniffles and wipes at her eyes, and Uncle Gustus just continues running his hand through her hair. It almost puts Lexa to sleep.

(She’s just so tired.)

Eventually, Lexa pulls away from her uncle slightly, and he stops brushing her hair, waiting for her to look up at him.

When she does, Lexa wasn’t expecting to see his own eyes looking puffy and bloodshot.

“Uncle Gus, were you…?” Lexa’s question trails off, and her uncle only shrugs.

“You hurt, I hurt, kid. I can’t help that under all of this muscle is a giant softie. I’m like a brute of a teddy bear. It adds to my charm,” he says with a smile.

Lexa chuckles, and it’s deep and gravely and her throat totally hurts from crying so hard. Uncle Gustus nods his head to the dresser over by the door.

“Anya brought you up a glass of water and some of the cookies she made earlier today.”

Lexa feels her eyes watering again from the kindness of such a small act.

_… Family..._

She clears her throat, blinks back the tears, and smirks up at her uncle.

“You know, I actually smelled them when we first got here. Although, I could not help but think of you making them while wearing a pink apron. It was rather amusing.”

Uncle Gustus laughs, “well I’m sorry to disappoint, but my apron is actually a nice light yellow. It really brings out my eyes.”

Lexa smiles, and not for the first time, and most definitely not for the last time, she is so incredibly thankful she decided to message him.

But she clears her throat again, and continues on with the conversation.

“… Is that okay, though?”

Uncle Gustus raises one of his eyebrows. “What, that my apron is yellow and not pink? I mean, I’m totally on board for always breaking gender roles and stereotypes and stuff, so if you think pink would be better, I can always go out and get one.”

Lexa stares at him.

“Uncles Gustus… I mean, me being a… lesbian. That doesn’t… offend you, or disgust you, or anything?”

Uncle Gustus raises his eyebrows and blinks at her.

“Lexa. Lexa, I have a _face_ tattoo. You’ll find I’m actually a really open person. About a whole bunch of shit. Cursing obviously being one of them. But you being gay is one of the last things I would ever be freaked out about. And – hey, oh no, please don’t cry. I thought you got it all out just then. Oh man, okay, c’mon, come here.”

Lexa leans back in for a warm hug, all while ignoring how embarrassed she is from all of the crying.

“I’m sorry, I just never… I never thought I’d really hear that,” Lexa mumbles.

“Well, I doubt I’m the first one to ever point this out, but your mom… Well, your mom is crazy, Lexa. Like. _Batshit_ crazy. The only crazy you should have to deal with, is my crazy. Because at least that crazy is entertaining.”

Lexa chuckles softly.

Just then there is a loud bang as the door is pushed open. Lexa moves out of the embrace to look behind her.

Titus has managed to get into the room, and he stands in the doorway, tail wagging as usual when he sees Lexa. He slowly walks over until he’s standing in front of the bed, his head resting next to Lexa’s hand.

“Look, even your buddy is here to make you feel better.” Lexa smiles and pets the top of Titus’ head. “I gotta warn you, though – he’s a bit of a bed hog.”

Titus closes his eyes as Lexa moves both hands to pet his head. “Something tells me I won’t really mind that.”

They spend a few minutes just like that; Uncle Gustus sitting supportively next to Lexa as she pets a small horse-dog.

“Alright, well, don’t forget the cookies on the dresser. Anya would be pissed if you didn’t at least eat one. She’s so dramatic about her baked goods, I have no idea where she gets it from.”

“Mmmmh, I have no idea,” Lexa smirks back over to him.

“You wound me, kid. But anyway, there’s food and TV downstairs if you want any of that. You know where the bathroom is. Feel free to wander the house or runaround the neighborhood barefoot or whatever. Or, ya know, you can hang up here and get settled in if you want. We can go over some more logistical stuff tomorrow. Like about school and stuff.” He stands and looks to the dog sitting at Lexa’s feet. “Titus, are you coming?”

And Titus just looks at Uncle Gustus standing by the door.

“Pfft. Whatever, I see how it is, you dog. But anyway. Holler if you need anything, Lexa the Lesbian.”

Uncle Gustus laughs, Titus licks her hand and wags his tail, and Lexa smiles back at her uncle.

(She finally feels the trap around her leg slowly start to open.)

(She finally feels free.)

*****

Lexa spends the rest of the day unpacking and settling into her new home. It doesn’t take much time.

She makes a short list of the things that she forgot that she needed, and hopes that she and Uncle Gustus could run out tomorrow to buy new items. She also realizes with a sunken heart that her phone was already shut off. She hoped Aden got her note. Lexa moved all of the photos off of her phone and on to her laptop, before putting the phone in one of the desk drawers.

With all of her clothes and other things put away, Lexa pulls out her two books and puts them on her nightstand and then changes into her pajamas. Even though it was still relatively early, she had a long day and is exhausted.

Lexa grabs a cookie before she sits back down on her bed. She spreads her legs out in front of her as she leans against the wall, her feet dangling off the edge of the bed. Titus looks at her from the edge of the bed, so she pats the spot next to her. Immediately he jumps up onto the bed and flops down against her. She smiles and scratches behind his ear when he lays his heavy head on her lap.

Lexa bites into the cookie and almost melts from how good it is.

(She’ll have to personally praise Anya for her wonderful baking skills tomorrow.)

Lexa looks around her new room and sighs. Its sound is filled with melancholy and exhaustion, but it’s also wistful. Lexa finishes off the cookie, grabs the one book off of her nightstand, and flips through it until she finds the photo of her and Aden.

She lightly traces his smiling face.

“I am so sorry, Aden. I swear I’ll come back for you.”

Lexa places the photo in one of the wooden slates above her head that supports the upper bed. The photo is right above where she lays on her pillow. She nudges Titus until she is able to climb under the blankets and reaches over to click off the lamp.

The moonlight softly illuminates the room and the dog snuggles up to her side.

Lexa closes her eyes, and she sleeps.

*****

She awakens to big brown eyes staring at her and a suffocating feeling on her chest.

“Titus,” Lexa wheezes, “I can’t breathe, you beast.”

He licks her face before jumping out of bed to stand by the closed door. Lexa stretches and rubs at her eyes, before slowly getting out of bed. She opens the door and Titus takes off downstairs. Lexa shakes her head at how much energy the dog can have in the morning and slowly shuffles down the hall to the bathroom.

(She refuses to look in the mirror until she has to.)

(She looks so… tired.)

Lexa gathers her hair up unto a messy ponytail and makes her way downstairs. She can hear her uncle and cousin (and Titus) in the kitchen, and then suddenly a delicious smell is filling the house.

She walks into the kitchen to see Anya standing by the toaster, and Uncle Gustus at the stove flipping pieces of bacon.

While wearing his yellow apron.

“Sleeping Beauty awakens! Oh, and do you like my gown, Miss. Lexa? I told you it does wonders for me.” Uncle Gustus even gives Lexa a twirl.

“A brown bag over your head would do wonders for you,” Anya laughs. Uncle Gustus takes one of the kitchen towels, winds it up, and smacks Anya on the butt with it. “Ow!”

“Ha! That’s what you get for turning on your own father like that!”

But then Titus had seen the towel and is suddenly running and jumping at Uncle Gustus trying to grab it from him.

“Titus, no! Down dog!” Uncle Gustus throws the towel at a laughing Anya – who stops laughing as soon as Titus turns his attention to her.

“Oh, no,” and Lexa barely has time to react before the towel is thrown her way. All she can do is grip it tightly and watch as Titus barrels towards her. She closes her eyes and braces for impact – but it never comes.

Lexa slowly opens her eyes to see Titus sitting in front of her, tail wagging a mile a minute.

Lexa places the towel on the table to give Titus a ‘good morning’ pet.

“I guess Lexa is throwing in the towel.” Anya groans at the terrible pun from her dad, and Lexa just stares at him. “What? That was a good one!”

Silence.

“Whatever. Bacon is done. Anya, hurry up with that toast.” Lexa walks over to the counter where there is an assortment of breakfast foods. She grabs a plate and a small portion of bacon, eggs, and toast. “Also, sorry to disappoint, Lexa, but the only juice we have is pre-squeezed, carton orange juice.”

Lexa just glares at him. Uncle Gustus grins in return.

“That is fine, Uncle Gustus. Although I was not aware that breakfast came with a side of sass.”

Uncle Gustus boomed with laughter.

“Kid, you’ll find that _everything_ comes with a side of sass in this house.”

Anya sagely nods her head and says, “it’s true.”

The three of them make their way to the table with Titus laying at their feet.

Breakfast is in fact filled with sassing and laughing. It’s loud and rambunctious, but Lexa finds it completely endearing. Eventually, Uncle Gustus turns to her.

“Alright, kid. Let’s talk business.” Lexa nods and wipes her mouth on her napkin. “You probably need a new phone, right?” Lexa nods again, albeit a bit slower. “Okay, not a problem. We can get a new one today. On to the next item of business – school. I know you went to a private school back with your ‘rents, so how would you feel about going to public school? I know it’s not exactly the same, but Anya is a senior there, and you’ll be a junior. She can show you around and stuff.” Anya nods in agreement. “We can go tomorrow to get your paperwork done and stuff and then you can start on Tuesday, if you want. Or we can wait, if you would want to do that?”

“That is alright, Uncle Gustus. Tuesday sounds fine. And thank you, Anya.”

“Sure, Lexa,” Anya offers with a small smile.

_At least it will be fun not having to wear a uniform every day._

“Cool. So after breakfast we can –“ Uncle Gustus is cut off by the sound of his phone ringing. He pulls his phone out of his pocket and furrows his eyebrows when he looks at the screen. “’Cuse me for a second, kids. I gotta take this. Hello?” Uncle Gustus says as he makes his way upstairs. “Yeah, this is him…” His voice fades away and Lexa looks to Anya. She just shrugs.

“It’s probably someone from work or something.”

Lexa nods.

(She knows all too well how demanding calls from work can be. How much they can take up a person’s time.)

“What does he do for work?” It’s one of those moments where Lexa is truly struck by how little she knows about her family. How did they ever allow this huge separation to happen?

(Something makes her think of her Mother.)

“He’s a tattoo artist, so sometimes he gets clients calling about a new project.”

Lexa nods again. “That is… Definitely interesting.”

Anya smirks over the table to her. “Don’t worry, if you don’t like tattoos, you don’t have to get one.”

Lexa can feel the tips of her ears burning. “No, it is not that I oppose tattoos. In fact, they can be very tasteful. Very beautiful.” Anya cuts her off with a laugh, effectively stopping what would have been a very embarrassing ramble.

“Lexa, it’s okay.”

She nods again and turns back to her food. They eat in silence for a little while, both comfortable enough to not feel forced to start a conversation.

Uncle Gustus comes back down the stairs, and Lexa looks towards him. He has his normal cheery disposition, but something about it seems forced to Lexa.

“Alright, well, a slight change of plans. I have to run out and take care of a few things. I probably won’t be home for a few hours. There’s left over food in the fridge and, Anya, I’m sure you could whip something up if you wanted to. Lexa, you can do whatever you want to; watch TV, read a book, play video games, take over Russia. Whatever. I’ll be back as soon as I can, but call if you need anything.”

Uncle Gustus walks over to them, gives Anya a kiss on the head, and Lexa can’t help but feel surprised when he does the same for her. He bends down to pet Titus goodbye.

“Bye, dad.”

“Bye, Uncle Gustus.”

“See ya later, kids.”

The garage door closes behind him and a few moments later, Lexa can hear the rumble of his truck.

Lexa looks over to Anya, who just shrugs.

They return their attention back to their food.

*****

Anya tells Lexa that she’s going down to the basement to play some video games, if she wants to join her. Lexa politely refuses – she’s never been very good at video games. Instead, she goes up to her room to shower and then to read one of her books.

Hours pass without her even noticing.

But then the familiar rumble of a truck interrupts Lexa’s quiet room. She hears it stop, and then the garage door open. A few moments later, Uncle Gustus walks back in the house and calls up the stairs.

“Hey, Lexa! Can you come down here for a second?”

Lexa closes her book, puts it on her nightstand, and makes her way down the stairs – only to stop mid-step, her heart suddenly pounding in her chest.

“ _Aden_.”

Her little brother is standing in the foyer looking incredibly small next to their uncle. His hair is a mess as usual, and he’s got the biggest smile on his face. Lexa practically flies down the rest of the stairs and scoops him up in the biggest hug she’s ever given.

“Oh my god, _Aden_!” Lexa pulls back to look at him, eyes searching for any reason why he’d be hurt or upset. “What are you doing here? Is everything okay? I don’t – I don’t understand? How –“ Lexa pulls him back into a hug. He hugs her back just as tightly.

“I read your letter,” Aden’s reply is muffled, so Lexa pulls away again. She keeps her hands on his arms and stares apologetically at him.

“Aden, I am so, so sorry I had to leave you. If I had any other choice, you have to know I would have taken it.”

Aden smiles, and it’s filled with so much love and understanding that Lexa feels herself about to start crying.

“I know, Lexa. I’ve always known that. _Which_ ,” he takes a deep breath, and Lexa braces herself, “is why I called Uncle Gustus this morning.” Lexa snaps her attention over to her uncle, who just smiles at her. “After I maybe, sort of, kinda… Started such a huge fight with Mother that she agreed to let me live here, too.”

Lexa raises an eyebrow.

“Mother… Agreed…?” Aden at least has the decency to blush.

“Okay, so agreed is putting it nicely. But, either way, she probably won’t be reporting me kidnapped or anything super crazy like that. Or at least… I hope she won’t.”

There’s a pause.

But then Lexa is hugging him again.

“That was so stupid, Aden,” she whispers into his hair. “You could have gotten hurt.” She feels Aden shrug.

“Yeah, well, she hurt you. And we always said we’d stick together.”

Lexa laughs. It’s filled with disbelief and happiness and Lexa isn’t quite sure if this is really happening, or if she fell asleep while reading and this is all just a wonderful _dream_ … But she also finds that she doesn’t care. Because Aden is here with her now. Aden is _here_ and _here_ is away from their old home. _Here_ is where real family lives. _Here_ is where Lexa finally – _finally_ – feels like she could really and truly… Be happy.

Lexa hugs Aden tighter and kisses the top of his head.

“Always, Aden. Always.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> You guys didn't actually think I would leave Aden behind, did you? ;)
> 
> Also Titus the Dog is 110% inspired by my actual dog, Jake. He's a fat English lab who is so adorable and stupid i love him.
> 
> BUT I HOPE YOU GUYS LIKED THIS CHAPTER! Next chapter Lexa will start at school aka hello Clarke and Co.
> 
> Thank you, as always, for taking a chance on this story. It means more than you know.
> 
> Come say hey at whatwordsmiss.tumblr.com :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Y'all. The response to this fic so far has absolutely BLOWN ME AWAY. Like. Dude. I can't even handle this right now thank you all SO much.  
> But anyway. Shout out to Jesus for giving me the day off from school so I could basically write this entire chapter today.  
> Enjoy! X

“ _Lexa!_ ”

Her nose twitches.

“ _Pssst – Lexa!_ ”

She ignores the pestering noise and rolls over.

“I know you’re awake.”

Lexa burrows further into her blankets, “no ‘m not,” she grumbles. “’m sleepin.’”

“Not anymore,” and it’s accompanied with a _TWACK_ of a pillow hitting her back.

Lexa rolls back over to glare at Aden, who is hanging upside-down over the railing of the top bunk. His grin only widens at her glare.

“What do you want, Aden?”

“It’s morning,” he smirks at her.

Lexa blinks.

“I am assuming that means something?”

“Duh,” and he just continues staring at her.

She raises an eyebrow.

“And that meaning is…?”

Aden pulls himself back up and over the ledge, only to hop off from the top bunk. Lexa flinches at the loud bang when he lands, but scooches over nonetheless to make room for Aden to join her. He uses the pillow he threw at Lexa and snuggles under the blankets with her. Aden turns to Lexa to speak, and she brushes away some hair that falls into his eyes.

“Uncle Gus said he was going to sign us up for school today.”

She hums in acknowledgement, and looks at her brother a little deeper.

“And how do you feel about that?” Aden shrugs in reply and looks away from her.

“Alright, I guess. I mean, I’m still a freshman, so it’s not like I left my world behind me, you know?” He finally looks back over to his sister, who has her eyebrows furrowed.

“What about your friends,” she asks quietly. Lexa didn’t really have many close friends – mainly just acquaintances – at their old school, but Aden was a kind and welcoming kid, so she knew he had a lot of friends.

“We can still text and game together. Anya has some pretty sweet consoles and games in the basement. I’m so excited to try them out later. She said I could play against her when she gets home from school.”

Lexa studies him for a moment before she smiles softly at her brother. “Okay, Aden. As long as you’re alright with everything.”

Aden grins at her. “It’ll be exciting, Lex! We get to start over – we can be anyone we want,” and Lexa just chuckles at his enthusiasm. “Oh – I should totally see if Uncle Gus could give me a mohawk –“

“- Okay, slow down, Aden… At least promise me you’ll wait until you have a career to get a face tattoo. It would probably make interviews slightly awkward.” Lexa brushes Aden’s hair out of his face again and frowns thoughtfully. “Maybe you could do with a haircut, though.”

And Aden smiles at her, and Lexa smiles back. It’s quiet in their room; the morning sun brushes the walls with warm colors, and it is comfortable under the blankets. Aden is here with Lexa, they are both away from their Mother and their suffocating home. Lexa can feel her soul gently sighing and snuggling further into the blankets.

Everything is okay.

“What about you, Lexa?” Aden continues when Lexa tilts her head in question. “Who are you going to be?”

It seems like an easy question, but it makes her pause. Who _is_ she? Her Mother never allowed her to be anything other than the perfect daughter; she is polite, studious, involved. She is reserved, terrified of loud noises, used to second guessing herself. She is soft, mending, a romantic.

She has no idea who she is.

“I assume I will simply be myself. Whatever that might mean.” Lexa sees the question behind Aden’s eyes, she sees the worry. So she takes a deep breath, and continues. “Openly. Unapologetically. You said it yourself; this is a new start. This is our – my… Second chance to do things right.”

Lexa’s eyelids flutter at her admission. Of course Aden already knows about her – knows about her being gay (in fact, he was the first one she told about Costia), but… Lexa still feels the weight dropping off her of shoulders.

This _is_ her chance. And she’d be damned if she didn’t do things her way this time.

The smile Aden gives her makes his eyes crinkle, and Lexa pokes him in the ribs, making him squirm away from her. They lay there in bed for a few quiet moments, simply being next to one another. Aden stares up at the underside of the top bunk, and Lexa traces the outline of his face with her eyes.

“You know, that really is a great photo of us.”

Lexa looks at the photo of them that is tucked into the bed frame, tilts her head, and hums.

“Mmmh… I look really badass and you… just look like a dork. Sorry.” And she shrugs and her tongue pokes out when she smiles at Aden. Aden just glares at Lexa, but any response is cut off by a knocking at their door. It slowly opens to reveal their uncle poking his head in.

“Oh, good, you’re both awake,” his voice is entirely too loud for the morning, and it’s entirely too _Uncle Gustus_. But somehow, Lexa doesn’t seem to mind all that much.

“Good morning, Uncle Gustus.”

“Morning, Uncle Gus! I made sure Lexa was wide awake and ready for the day,” Uncle Gustus laughs along with Aden, and Lexa just silently accepts her fate of being a non-morning person in a house filled with loud, _very-_ morning people.

“Good job, kid. Someone had to poke the bear, and I’m glad you took one for the team.” Lexa picks up her head off the pillow to glare at her uncle… Who is so tall, he has to bend down to even see her. “Alright, well if you guys wanna take showers and get ready or whatever, we can eat some breakfast and then go and get you both signed up for school! _Whooot_ – learning! Education! Yeah!”

When Aden laughs along with Uncle Gustus, Lexa pushes him out of the bed.

“Hey – rude,” he shouts from on the floor.

Lexa rolls over to the side of the bed to smirk down at him, “You have terrible morning breath.”

Aden glares at her.

( _He really needs to work on that – I just feel sorry for him, honestly.)_

“Okay, I’ll be downstairs whenever you guys are ready. No rush” Uncle Gustus says as he closes the door behind him. Lexa climbs out of bed and steps over Aden.

“I’m taking a shower first. I’ll try to leave you some hot water.”

“Whatever,” Lexa hears as she leaves the room.

She can’t help but smile softly; she actually feels excited for the day ahead of her.

*****

Lexa finishes getting ready for the day and makes her way downstairs. She walks into the kitchen to see Aden sitting on the counter holding a bowl with Titus sitting in front of him, staring expectantly. Lexa rolls her eyes when Aden tosses up a piece of cereal which Titus then enthusiastically chases.

“You’re going to make him even bigger, you know,” but Aden just laughs at her.

“He’ll live. Uncle Gus said there’s bagels in the cabinet and obviously there’s cereal, and… uh … Oh – there’s waffles in the freezer.”

Lexa grabs a bagel and pops it in the toaster. She leans against the counter to face Aden. Titus must feel as if greeting Lexa is more important than catching food because he trots over to sit in front of her.

“Good morning, Titus. I hope you slept well last night,” Lexa says as she scratches behind his ears. Lexa looks up to see Aden staring at her weirdly. “What?”

“Nothing,” he smiles. “I’ve just never seen you with a dog. Of course you would talk to it like a person.”

“Shut up,” she mumbles and rolls her eyes. She hopes Aden doesn’t catch her blushing – she would never hear the end of it.

“And you call me weird.”

“That’s because you _are_ weird.”

“Yeah well look who I grew up with,” Aden sasses back.

“Who, Mother?” And just like that, their light, teasing banter is tense. The kitchen is still and Lexa refuses to look Aden in the eye.

(She feels like she’s in a forest filled with traps.)

(Even if she escapes one, one wrong step and she’s back in another.)

“Nah, I would be crazy then.” And Lexa is forever thankful for her brother always being able to bounce back from heavy situations.

Lexa nods and turns to the toaster when she hears her bagel pop up. The siblings sit in comfortable silence as they eat their breakfasts, both deep in their own thoughts.

Just as they both were finishing up the last of their food, they hear Uncle Gustus’ truck pull up to the house. A minute later he walks in and sees them in the kitchen.

“You kids ready?”

“Yup,” Aden excitedly answers and hops off the counter. Lexa nods and places her plate in the sink.

“Alrighty then – let’s go sign up for school!”

Aden follows his uncle out the garage and Lexa turns and says, “Goodbye, Titus. We will be back later. Be good,” and then follows them out.

*****

The drive to the school was a quick ten minutes. Even though he said that Anya would be driving them to school, Uncle Gustus still gave them directions and street names as he drove. Eventually, they parked at the high school.

“Good old Arkadia High. I think you’ll guys will really like it here. Anya, she’s a senior, and she only says good things about it. There are some really nice people here, so I don’t think you’ll have a hard time making friends either.”

The three of them hop out of the truck and make their way through the main entrance. Posters and advertisements for upcoming events and clubs line the walls, along with tall blue lockers and school banners. The trophy case they pass is filled with an impressive amount of trophies and awards, most of them for their football team.

Lexa nudges Aden, “you should join the football team,” and he just laughs.

“Yeah, right. I’m barely as tall as you. Maybe I’ll join the soccer team next year, though.”

Lexa smiles and continues walking.

The hallways are empty, save for the random student milling around, so Lexa assumes it must be in the middle of a class period.

They approach the main office and Uncle Gustus holds the door open for the two kids. There are three ladies working behind the counter as well as one student. One of the women looks up when they enter and grins at them.

“Gustus! It’s so nice to see you,” she stands and walks to the counter.

“Hey, Sandy; how’ve you been?”

“Oh, I’ve been great. How about you?”

“Hangin’ in there,” Uncle Gustus replies and places a large hand on Lexa’s and Aden’s shoulder. “Sandy, I’d like you to meet my niece and nephew, Lexa and Aden.” Sand reaches out to shake their hands.

“Hello, dears. Welcome to Arkadia High.” Uncle Gustus squeezes their shoulders.

“I was wondering if I could get them enrolled for the rest of the year.”

“Oh, of course! How exciting,” Sandy grins at them before turning to the student next to her. “Wells, dear, could you grab me two of the class registration papers? It should be the third drawer down in that cabinet right there,” Wells nods and goes to dig for the papers and Sandy turns back to Lexa and Aden. “We’ll get you two signed up for classes first so you can explore a little bit while your uncle finishes up the boring parts,” Sandy tells them with a smile.

Wells walks back over to them and hands them the papers and two pens. “Welcome to Ark High,” he tells them with a grin. “Maybe we’ll have some classes together.” He seems friendly enough to Lexa, and she could see herself enjoying his company.

“Thank you, Wells,” Lexa politely replies and looks down at the list of classes.

“The paper basically explains it, but if you were taking any AP classes you can easily switch into them here. Plus we also have some really fun electives you can take as well. Do you have your transcripts?”

“Um,” Lexa’s heart sinks. Luckily her uncle steps in before she can panic too much.

“I just called their old school this morning. They should be faxed over sometime today or tomorrow.” Lexa smiles gratefully at her uncle who just smiles back. He turns back to Sandy and the two adults continue their conversation.

“Okay, cool. Yeah, so just sign up for eight classes and we’ll work you into the roster. Let me know if you have any questions” Wells finishes and walks back over to the other end of the counter to give them some quiet to work. Lexa appreciates that he doesn’t hover.

She takes a few minutes to read over the classes. Most of them she has already completed at her old school, so she tries not to retake anything. When she finishes, she’s marked off AP World History, AP English Literature, AP Psychology, Pre-Calculus, Chemistry, Piano Lab, gym, and an open block.

Lexa finishes before Aden and can’t help but smirk at the look of complete concentration on his face as he reads the classes. Once she sees him about to circle a class, she quickly reaches over and pushes his elbow, making his pen scratch up the paper.

Aden looks over to glare at his chuckling sister, “And I’m supposed to be the younger one.”

“Well I can feel myself growing older waiting for you. Hurry up.” Aden just rolls his eyes.

Wells walks back over to them. “All finished?”

Lexa nods her head, “I am,” and hands over the paper. Wells scans the classes she circled and she notices his eyebrows raises slightly.

“Wow, that’s an impressive load. But,” he grins at her, “we should at least have AP world together.” Lexa gives him a small smile. “You’re a junior, right?”

“Yes. Are you as well?”

“Yup! That’s cool. Oh – and if we are in the same World class, that means we’ll also have lunch together. If you want, you can sit with me and I can introduce you to my friends? Unless you don’t want to, which is totally cool as well. I just want to help make you feel welcome here at Ark.”

Lexa bites her lip and looks to Aden who is still filling out his paper.

“Thank you, Wells. That is very kind of you. But I will have to let you know. I don’t want to leave my brother –“

“- Oh he can totally join us as well!” Wells smiles and Lexa is taken back.

“Oh, um,” Lexa starts but Aden cuts her off.

“That’d be awesome, dude. Thanks,” and Wells just smiles and nods at them.

Lexa looks back to Aden, “We’ll also have to see when Anya has lunch.”

“Anya Woods?” Wells asks.

“Yes. She is our cousin.”

Wells nods in understanding. “She’s really cool. I’m not like close friends with her or anything, since she’s a senior and everything, but what I’ve heard of her, she sounds really… Fun.”

Lexa thinks back to Anya’s sassy attitude and smirks a little.

“Yes, _fun_ would be one way to put it.” Wells looks grateful that Lexa understood what he was trying to say.

“All done,” Aden says and hands over his paper.

“Cool, thanks.” Wells turns to place the papers on one of the desks before turning back to Lexa and Aden. “Alright, well, if you two want, I can print you off visitor passes so you can walk the halls a bit. Feel out the school and try to learn it a little.”

“Thank you that would be very nice.” Wells nods and fiddles with some machine to print out passes.

“Just stick these on your shirts and you’ll be good to go. Have fun,” Wells finishes with a smile, which Lexa returns.

Lexa turns to her uncle and gently prods his arm. “Excuse me, Uncle Gustus,” he turns to her. “Aden and I are going to walk around the school. When should we meet back here?”

Uncle Gustus looks to Sandy in question.

“This should take no more than half an hour,” she replies.

“Okay, thank you. We’ll see you then.”

Uncle Gustus nods and the two kids leave the office. They are met with three different hallways.

“Well… Which way first, Aden?”

He thinks for a minute before answering, “Let’s just go straight.” Lexa follows behind him.

*****

The school for the most part is actually quite modern looking. Nothing super fancy like each student having their own laptops like how it was at Lexa’s old school, but it wasn’t as if they were in the stone ages either. The school colors – blue, black, and white – were painted in most of the hallways, and there was definitely a lot of school spirit.

Lexa and Aden were in the middle of a stairwell thinking over whether to go up or down, when the bell rang. They both just looked at each other for a moment, before they heard a thundering of kids walking down the stairs. As soon as they saw the massive group of kids turn on the stairs and walking straight towards them, their minds were made up: they were going downstairs.

The stairs lead them to the basement of the school, which was admittedly a lot calmer. There are a few students at some of the lockers grabbing books or their lunches, but there was no need for Lexa and Aden to press themselves against the wall in hopes that they wouldn’t get trampled. A few minutes later, when the halls are mostly cleared, a second bell rings.

They walk past the bathrooms when Aden stops.

“Hey, I gotta go real quick. I’ll be out in a second.”

“Okay, I will probably be wandering the halls still.”

Aden walks into the bathroom and Lexa continues down the hallway. Art projects line the halls and she figures this is where the art programs are held. She stares at a few of them, and they are what she expects a high school artist to create. However, there are a few different paintings and sketches that make Lexa pause. They are all done by the same person, and the small _C.G._ in the bottom right corner is the only clue as to who the artist is.

Lexa walks further down the hallway until she sees an open door to an empty classroom. It must be the art studio with its large tables and canvases throughout the room. She doesn’t see anyone, so Lexa walks into the room to explore further.

She traces her fingertips over the top of the tables as she slowly walks around the room, looking at the different pieces of art. They all range from pottery, to paintings, to mosaics. Lexa stops at one painting in particular. It is clearly unfinished, yet still extremely beautiful.

The painting is of the forest at night. It is slightly angled so the viewer is looking up at the trees, with a starry night shining down. The colors blend together in such an effortless way, Lexa can only imagine how hard the artist has worked on this piece. It has Lexa transfixed.

“I’m not quite finished that one yet,” a voice comes from behind Lexa, making her jump.

Lexa turns to see a girl leaning against one of the tables. She has blonde hair in a messy bun, a slightly oversized sweater making it hang off of her one shoulder, and blue eyes that feel like they pierce right through Lexa. The smile the girl is wearing makes Lexa’s heart skip a beat.

 _Well that is certainly odd. She probably just scared me worse than I thought_.

Lexa clears her throat. “It’s beautiful,” and Lexa ignores how soft her voice suddenly is.

The other girl’s smile grows and Lexa can’t look away.

“Thank you. You’ll have to come and see it when it’s finished then. That’s actually why I came back down here, so I could work on it some more.”

Understanding crosses Lexa’s features and she steps to the side. “Of course, I won’t keep you from your work,” but the girl just laughs and reaches out to stop Lexa from leaving.

As soon as the girl’s fingers brush her arm, Lexa can’t help but softly gasp. It’s quiet as they both stand next to each other, ignoring the other’s blush. Lexa can’t help but flick her gaze up to the other girl’s eyes, and she almost immediately regrets it; they are even more beautiful up close.

“Um,” the other girl starts, and her voice – which is already on the deeper side – has dropped even lower and now sounds _husky_. “I just meant, you can stay. If you’d like?” And Lexa can’t stop her eyelids from fluttering or the way she wants to scream _yes – yes I would love to stay_. But then she hears Aden calling for her in the hallway and she knows she can’t. So instead of saying yes, she sighs.

“Unfortunately I have to go. My brother is calling for me and,” Lexa quickly looks at her watch, “we have to go back to the office now. Our Uncle is waiting for us.”

The other girl just nods.

And yet, Lexa still can’t bring herself to leave. She’s stuck, staring at this girl, at this stranger – beyond mesmerized.

(She feels trapped again.)

(But metal is not biting into bone this time.)

(She feels herself floating in the ocean with the sun streaming down her on.)

(Everywhere she looks is blue.)

(She doesn’t ever want to leave.)

“There you are,” Lexa hears Aden call from the doorway. The spell is broken and both girls take a step back from each other. Fingertips skim Lexa’s arm as they’re pulled away, and it gives her goosebumps. “I was wondering where you went.”

Lexa blinks and finally tears her gaze away to look at Aden.

“Yes, well, now you have found me.”

Aden just stands there, waiting for her. “So… Are you going to come back to the office, or stand here all day?”

The other girl laughs and Lexa feels the tips of her ears burning.

“I’ll be right there, Aden,” she tells him and he leaves with a smirk.

Lexa closes her eyes and takes a deep breath before turning back to the girl.

“I am sorry, but I really must be going now. It was lovely meeting you,” she looks back at the incomplete painting. “You truly are very talented.”

The other girl just stares at her and smiles, and Lexa should be bothered by it. She should feel uncomfortable under her gaze, she should want to turn away and hide.

But she doesn’t.

She smiles back.

She smiles back and whispers, “Goodbye, then.”

Lexa walks past the girl and is almost to the door when she hears her call out to her.

“Wait,” Lexa turns around. “Are you – are you going to be a new student here?” Lexa nods and fiddles with the hem of her shirt. “What’s your – I’m Clarke. My name. It’s Clarke. Griffin. Clarke Griffin.”

And the girl – _Clarke_ – bites her lip as she grimaces. And the blush on her face has Lexa softening.

“It is very nice to meet you, Clarke,” (and Lexa loves the way her name sounds), “my name is Lexa. Lexa Woods.”

Clarke’s smile only grows.

“Well then, Lexa Woods. May we meet again tomorrow.”

Lexa bites the inside of her lip to keep her smile small and controlled.

“I hope so,” she answers before leaving the room.

Lexa finds Aden leaning against the wall. He raises his eyebrows when he see her.

“Who was that?”

They walk down the hallway back to the stairs. Lexa stares at the art hanging on the walls, smiling at the small _C.G._ scribbled in the corners,

“A friend.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'M SO EXCITED TO FINALLY WRITE CLEXA AND THE REST OF GANG. Next chapter will be a monster of a chapter with their first actual day at school.
> 
> But I hope you guys liked this chapter! Thank you again for the fantastic response. Y'all got me so happy.
> 
> ALSO WELLS IS TOTALLY ALIVE AND WELL.....S. 
> 
> Come say hey at whatwordsmiss.tumblr.com :)


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the long delay! The end of the semester craziness totally kicked my butt. Gotta love double majors, amirite?  
> I hope this chapter makes up for the wait!  
> Enjoy! X

“I swear to god if I see you again I’m going to kill you.”

“Yeah, okay; good luck with that.”

The sounds of rapid gunfire and explosions fill the basement. Uncle Gustus had taken Lexa and Aden out to lunch and then shopping to pick up some school supplies for their first day tomorrow. He had dropped them back off at home before turning around again, promising he’d be right back. Anya got home a few minutes later and the three kids (and Titus) made their way down to the finished basement.

That was easily an hour ago, and Aden and Anya’s smack talk only intensified with each round they played of their video game.

Lexa leans back further into the couch as she watches Aden and Anya furiously smashing buttons on their controllers, trying to find the other first. It’s amusing to Lexa to watch the pair in action; she was never good at video games – not that she ever played much – but Aden always was playing at their old house. It was nice that he was now living with someone he could actually play against.

Just then a loud explosion booms from the television, making Lexa flinch on the couch. Aden tossed his controller down while Anya throws her fists in the air. Lexa pets Titus when he sighs against her leg.

“ _Aw man_.”

“HELL YES! Take that, squirt!”

“’Squirt?’ You’re seriously going to call me squirt,” Aden deadpans.

“Would you prefer Sergeant Short Stuff?” Anya tosses back with a smirk.

“That one is even worse.”

“Well let me know when you finally hit puberty and grow a few inches,” Anya reaches over and messes up Aden’s hair, and Lexa smiles as she watches them pretend to fight.

Eventually she hears the garage door open and heavy footsteps. Titus picks up his head from where he was laying on Lexa’s lap, his ears perking, when Uncle Gustus shouts down to them.

“Hey guys, I’m back! Aden and Lexa could you guys come up here for a second?”

“Yeah, ‘course, Uncle Gus – right as this round is –“

“ _Over._ And that’s, what, seven rounds for me? And… one for you, Sergeant Short Stuff?”

Anya laughs when Aden rolls his eyes and starts walking up the stairs.

“Excuse me, Titus,” Lexa says as she pokes the dog’s head. He jumps off the couch and moves to lay on Anya’s lap, who was already immersed in a single player game.

Lexa makes her way up the stairs to see Aden hugging a laughing Uncle Gustus.

“Thank you so, so, so, so, so much, Uncle Gus. You rock,” Aden says, making their uncle only laugh harder.

“Sure, kid. It’s no problem.” Lexa raises an eyebrow at him, and Uncle Gustus only grins and tosses a box to her. She barely catches it, and when she sees what is on the small white box, she snaps her head back up to stare at her uncle in shock.

“Uncle Gustus… This is… This is too…”

“Appropriate? Awesome? Fantastic? What I said I was going to do?” Lexa just continues staring at him. “Go ahead, open it kid.”

Aden pulls away from the hug and opens his own box.

Lexa swallows and looks down at the white box with an apple on the front. She slowly opens the box and stares at the phone.

“Although I have to warn you two that those are refurbished. So they may or may not have a few glitches here and there. I hope not, but you can never be too sure.” Lexa gently takes out the phone and looks back up to her uncle.

“ _Thank you_ , Uncle Gustus. Truly.”

And he only shrugs, an easy smile on his face.

“You guys are starting school tomorrow. I want you to have a phone just in case of emergencies. And, besides, what teenager doesn’t have an iPhone these days,” he finishes with a laugh. “But if you turn it on, I can put my number in there real quick. Then you can start messing around with it and play Flippy Bug or whatever that app is.”

“I think you mean Flappy Bird,” Aden informs him. “And that app is so old.”

“Eh – tomato, potato,” Uncle Gustus says with a wave of his hand. Lexa furrows her eyebrows at the odd expression.

They both hand over their phones when they’re on and their uncle puts in his number, along with a few of the ‘in case of emergency’ numbers hanging on the fridge and his work number. He hands them back their new phones with a smile.

“There ya both go. Two, semi-new phones, ready to be immersed into your teenage lives.”

“Thank you again, Uncle Gustus. This was very kind of you.”

“Yeah, thanks again, Uncle Gus.”

“No problem, kids. Now, Aden, I have to go back out and pick up some groceries – do you wanna come?”

“Sure,” Aden replies with a nod.

“Cool – go over to the drawer over there and grab my magical box of magic, would you,” Uncle Gustus points.

“What’s so magical about it?”

“I’ll be downstairs. Have fun shopping” Lexa offers with a smile. She turns to the door and hits the first step when she hears Aden.

“Uncle Gus… This is a box filled with coupons.”

“ _Exactly._ ”

Lexa laughs and shakes her head and she closes the basement door behind her. Anya is still sitting on the floor concentrating on her game, so Lexa silently sits back down on the sofa behind her. Titus eventually climbs up to join her.

The two girls sit in silence, both enjoying just being able to relax. Lexa fiddles with her new phone, downloading different apps and fixing some of the settings, and Anya focuses on completing the mission in her game.

Lexa locks her phone as she idly pets Titus. She looks at the dark screen and her reflection looks right back.

( _“What about you, Lexa? Who are you going to be?”_ )

( _“… Myself… Openly… Unapologetically…”_ )

With a deep breath, Lexa looks at Anya, determination burning in her eyes.

“Hey, Anya?”

“Yeah,” comes the distracted reply.

“I’m a lesbian.” Lexa holds her breath.

Anya plays for a few more seconds, killing an enemy on the screen, before quickly looking over her shoulder to Lexa.

“I thought you were a Libra?”

Anya turns back to the screen.

Lexa blinks. But then a slow smile takes over her face, because Anya is now casually leaning against Lexa’s legs. And she hasn’t seen her cousin in so many years, doesn’t really know who she is. But she’s slowly finding out.

And Lexa can’t help but feel like she’s finally found her real family.

So she takes another deep breath, and allows the smile to blossom.

“I’m a Sagittarius, actually.”

Anya hums. “Just as long as you’re not a Gemini. Because then we’d probably have a few problems.”

Lexa laughs and scratches behind Titus’ ear. She cheers when Anya completes the mission.

*****

That night, Anya and Uncle Gustus work together in the kitchen to make everyone dinner. Aden sits on the counter throwing scraps of food at Titus, while Lexa sits at the kitchen table. She is amazed at how fluid Anya and Uncle Gustus work together. Their movements are effortless and they always seem to know what the other is doing, and what needs to happen next. Lexa can only imagine how many meals they have cooked together.

Their laughter and jokes continue all the way through dinner. Anya talks about her day at school, and Aden and Lexa talk about how they’re excited to go tomorrow. Uncle Gustus askes them about the schedules they signed up for and if Anya had any pointers – which she gives them.

After dinner, Aden and Anya go back downstairs and Lexa insists on washing the dishes.

“Honestly, Uncle Gustus, it is the least I can do.” And he just reaches over to the sink and flicks up soap bubbles at her.

“Whatever you say, kid.” He moves around the kitchen, putting away left overs. “Oh, do you know if you want to buy lunch tomorrow, or pack? I bought some food today for lunches, or I could give you some cash.”

Lexa pauses washing the bowl before glancing over to her uncle.

“I think I will just take a lunch tomorrow.”

“Alright,” Uncle Gustus nods. “Any special requests?”

“Whatever you bought is most likely fine. Thank you.”

Uncle Gustus packs the lunches and Lexa continues washing in silence. When she finishes, she dries her hands on a towel before turning to look at her uncle, who is leaning against the counter.

“So – you ready for tomorrow? Excited?”

Lexa bites her lip and thinks about the mini exploration of the school today.

(She can’t help but think of meeting Clarke and she _prays_ her uncle doesn’t see her blushing.)

“Yes. Yes, I am,” Lexa nods.

Uncle Gustus grins and walks over to her, clasping a hand on her shoulder.

“I’m glad to hear that Lexa,” she smiles up at him and fiddles with the towel in her hands. “You’re going to love it at Ark High. You’ll make lots of friends and learn a lot of cool stuff. And don’t worry if you feel lost or like you don’t fit in. It’ll be a period of transition for you – and Aden. But Anya will be there, and she’ll look out for you guys. Plus, that kid – what was his name, Wells? He seemed like he’s a good kid. You’re probably going to break his heart, the way he kept looking at you.”

And Lexa blushes and is mortified while her uncle laughs loudly. He wraps his arm around her shoulders and pulls her into his side, body still shaking with laughter.

“Aw, man. You should have seen your face just now.”

Lexa glares, but even she has to admit that it does very little while being tucked under the large man’s arm.

“I’m kidding, I’m kidding. Well… Maybe not about you breaking his heart. He _did_ seem a bit smitten with you.”

“ _Uncle Gustus_ ,” Lexa whines, only succeeding in making him laugh harder.

He calms down after a minute, Lexa still snug in his side.

“And, man, who knows. Maybe you’ll even find yourself a girl.”

Lexa is extremely grateful her uncle can’t see how red her face is.

“Uncle Gustus, _please_ ,” Lexa tries to pull away. He squeezes her one last time before letting her go.

“Although I have to say, if anyone breaks your heart, I’ll… Give them a stern talking to.” Lexa raises her eyebrow at him, and her uncle only shrugs. “What? I’m not going to say I’ll break their arms or anything like that. I don’t hurt girls. I mean – I don’t hurt anyone because violence is a waste of my time, but – oh you know what I mean,” he tosses the towel at her. “Go, get outta here. Go use up all the data on your new phone or whatever.”

“Should I go play Flippy Bug?” Lexa smirks at her uncle.

“Kid, I’m about to show you the flippy _bird_ ,” and Lexa lets out a peel of shocked laughter, Uncle Gustus joining her. She shakes her head and walks back towards the basement stairs, dropping the towel on the table on her way out.

*****

Lexa stares into her closet, trying to pick out an outfit to wear tomorrow, and Aden watches her from the top bunk.

“This was a lot easier when we just had to wear uniforms,” Lexa mumbles.

“It’s not that hard, you know. You just put on pants, a shirt, and then – boom – you’re done.”

Lexa turns around to glare at her brother.

“I can see Anya and Uncle Gustus are already rubbing off on you. Something tells me this isn’t going to end well.”

Aden grins at her, and she turns back to her closet. With a sigh, Lexa picks the first outfit she sees – a nice black and white stripped long sleeve shirt, and a pair of black skinny jeans – before laying them out on the desk chair. She pulls out her shoes and places them next to the desk.

“ _Damn_ , Lexa –“

“– _Aden,_ ”

“- Back at it again with the white vans,” he finishes with a laugh.

Lexa just stares at him.

“… Excuse me? And those are converses.”

Aden looks at her in disbelief.

“How have you never seen that video?”

“What video,” Lexa asks, confusion coloring her voice.

Aden covers his face and groans. “I am so disappointed to call you my sister,” he mumbles from behind his hands. Lexa frown and hits him with a pillow, making him yelp in surprise.

Lexa just rolls her eyes and walks over to the light switch.

“Are you going to get your outfit ready for tomorrow?”

“Nah,” Aden shakes his head. “Like I said: pants, shirt, boom.”

Lexa shakes her head before turning off the bedroom lights. She makes her way over to the bed before climbing under the covers.

“Good night, Aden,” she whispers into the dark.

“Night, Lex,” he softly replies. “We’re going to have a good day tomorrow. This is going to be good for us. I can feel it.”

And Lexa closes her eyes and snuggles down further into the bed, feels her brother shifting on the bunk above her. She thinks about coming out to Uncle Gustus and then to Anya – how they had both been completely supportive. She thinks of thoughtful gifts, of jokes, of laughter.

But, before she completely falls asleep, there’s only one thing that Lexa thinks about that makes her feel content.

A beautiful forest painted by an equally beautiful girl.

*****

But it’s an ugly and loud alarm that she wakes up to.

Lexa blindly reaches over to her phone to tap the snooze button, rolling over and pulling the blankets up higher. She sighs as she lets herself drift back off.

Only to suddenly feel the bed start rocking back and forth. It becomes more aggressive the longer she ignores it.

She sighs.

“Why was I ever excited to share a room with you,” she mumbles into her pillows, eyes still stubbornly closed.

She hears and feels the bed move as Aden climbs down from the top bunk. His fingers are suddenly scratching Lexa’s head, and she sighs again.

“Because you love me, duh. And I’m like, totally awesome. And the best little brother,” his voice floats around the room.

“And so completely modest,” Lexa adds. Aden laughs.

“C’mon, Lexa-Dexa! It’s the second first day of the school year. Wakey wakey eggs and bakey… Oh… I wonder if Uncle Gus made any bacon…”

Lexa waits until she hears the bedroom door open and then close again to finally crack her eyes open. She yawns and stretches, enjoying the cracks and pops of her joints. She stares blankly at the photo above her before reaching over for her phone.

She groans at the time.

“I love waking up before the rest of the world.”

Lexa checks for any notifications (there are none) before rolling out of bed and getting ready for the day.

(… She ignores the butterflies in her stomach.)

*****

Uncle Gustus, unfortunately, did not make bacon. However, he _did_ make delicious pancakes with fresh blueberries.

Which is a win in Lexa’s book.

Breakfast was spent with Aden and Uncle Gustus talking back and forth like excited children, while Lexa and Anya quietly ate their breakfasts. Lexa appreciated the fact that Anya seemed less of a morning person than her father was – or Lexa’s brother. Throughout the meal they would silently exchange looks whenever Uncle Gustus or Aden did something particularly amusing.

Lexa found comfort in their silent solidarity.

However, breakfast eventually had to end.

“Alright, kids,” Uncle Gustus says as he picked up their plates. “You better get going if you want to get there a little early and stop by the office. You still need your schedules, your school pin number, and your locker. At least tomorrow you’ll be able to sleep in a little bit longer.”

Lexa sighs with appreciation.

The three kids get up and grab their bookbags and make sure that they have everything they need for the day.

“Bye, pops,” Anya says as she walks towards the garage, car keys dangling from the hand she uses to throw a peace sign up with.

“Don’t get into too much trouble, Anya,” Uncle Gustus replies with a grin. Aden walks over to him and gives him a quick hug.

“Bye, Uncle Gus!” He turns and runs after Anya.

Uncle Gustus turns to Lexa with a warm smile, and Lexa offers him her own small – yet content – smile. He opens his arms and she steps into his embrace. He smells like blueberries and the forest.

“You’re going to have a great day today, Lexa.” She closes her eyes and he rubs his hands up and down her back. It’s comforting to the nerves she didn’t quite feel until right this very moment. Uncle Gustus gives her another squeeze before she takes a step back.

“Thank you, Uncle Gustus,” she smiles at him. He nods.

“Now get going, or you’ll be late,” he laughs. Lexa tugs on one of her bookbag straps and takes a deep breath. She turns and walks to the garage.

(She stops at the snoozing Titus laying in the hallway. She squats down to pet his head, the only response is a deep sigh from the dog. “Goodbye, Titus,” she says. “I hope you have a good day today.”)

*****

The ride to school is quick. They listen to the radio and when Aden reclines the passenger seat until it’s squishing Lexa, she gives him a wet willy.

She’ll have to remember to grab the passenger seat first next time.

They park in the student parking lot on the side of the building and make their way inside. It’s a cold morning, the sky is an encompassing gray and morning dew makes the grass glisten. But birds still fly overhead and the trees – although slowly becoming barren – still sway in the breeze.

Since they arrived relatively earlier, the school halls were practically empty. The office has a faint smell of coffee and Lexa refuses to believe the secretaries’ cheerfulness were genuine.

(It’s just too early.)

Sandy, the same woman who Lexa and Aden met yesterday, was the first one to see them enter the room. She smiles at them and makes her way around her desk to the counter.

“Good morning, Anya,” her chipper voice floats through sounds of telephones and copiers.

“Morning, Mrs. Sandy,” Anya monotonously replies.

 “And good morning to you two; it’s Lexa and Aden, correct?”

Aden smiles and Lexa nods.

“Yes, ma’am, that is correct. We are here to pick up our schedules and other things.”

“Yes, of course, just a moment, dearies.” Sandy turns and rifles through a stack of papers. After a few seconds, she finds what she’s looking for and brings her attention back to the teenagers. “Right, so here are your respective schedules. You’ll find the class, the teacher, and the room number listed. There’s also a map attached at the end of the packets, just in case. Although you’re here early enough, you should be able to have enough time to find your classes now.” Lexa nods and looks through her schedule.

Physical Education  
Pre-Calculus   
AP World History  
4th Lunch  
Open Block  
Piano Lab  
AP English Literature

Of course she would have gym first thing in the morning. But at least her free period is right after lunch. That will be nice. She can spend some free time in the library or outside or playing the piano.

“Your school pin numbers you’ll use for lunch as well as your locker numbers and combos are listed at the top of the page – you’re both in the basement next to each other. That’s where our overflow lockers are. Your homeroom numbers are also listed there, but you’ll find you’re not in the same one. We sort you based on grade for homerooms. The other sheets are just general information about the school, the different clubs and programs you can join, and things like that. Do you have any questions?” Sandy finishes with a kind smile.

Lexa looks to Aden who shakes his head. “No, thank you though.”

Sandy nods and smiles at Anya. “I’m sure your cousin would be more than happy to help you out, anyway.”

Anya places a hand on Lexa’s and Aden’s shoulder, turning them to walk out of the office. “Sure will, Mrs. Sandy. Thanks again.”

They walk out to the hallway and Anya walks them straight. Lexa vaguely remembers this way leading to the main stairwell.

“Let’s get you kiddies to your lockers, shall we?” Aden wrestles out from under Anya’s grip, and Anya flicks his ear. They laugh, openly and loudly, and Lexa smiles.

“What lunches did you guys get?”

Aden looks down at his sheet before answering. “Third,” making Lexa frown.

“I have fourth,” she mumbles as she stares at her paper, her brows furrowed deeply.

“Don’t worry,” Anya cuts in, pulling Lexa back out. “I’ve got third. Aden can sit with me for a bit, before he finds some of his own nerdy friends. Ain’t that right, Sergeant Short Stuff? You’ll get to sit with the big kids.” Aden just rolls his eyes while Lexa bites her lip and nods.

Anya plucks Lexa’s papers from her hands. She quickly scans over the schedule before frowning.

“Damn. We don’t have any classes together,” she hands the papers back to Lexa, who frowns as well.

“Well that certainly is unfortunate.”

Anya looks over Aden’s schedule before grinning at him. “Looks like we have gym together,” she says as she throws her arm around Aden’s neck and pulling him closer. Aden just groans making Anya laugh.

They continue their way downstairs and the butterflies in Lexa’s stomach come back with a vengeance. In order to get to her locker she has to walk through the art hallway – including the art hanging on the walls and the art studio.

She can’t help but smile a little when she sees the small _C.G._ ’s.

She also can’t help but hold her breath as the three of them walk past the open door to the art studio. While Anya and Aden talk back and forth, Lexa chances a peek into the room.

It’s empty.

(She can’t stop the echo of disappointment from fluttering around in her chest.)

It takes them a few tries, but eventually Lexa and Aden are able to open their lockers. They put their stuff in the locker and take out a notebook and folder, since it was only their first day. The three of them then walk around the school as the building slowly fills up with students, all at varying stages of consciousness. Anya makes sure to show them where there classes, homerooms, and the best hide-away spots are.

But eventually the homeroom bell rings signaling them to part ways. They reach Aden’s homeroom first and Lexa pulls him in for a quick hug.

“Good luck, Aden. Make friends. I’ll be here if you need me.”

Aden squeezes back before pulling away. He smiles at her, and it’s light and hopeful and _happy_.

“Same to you, Lex. We got this.”

Anya ruffles his hair once more before they walk to Lexa’s homeroom. Anya pats Lexa on the back when they reach the classroom.

“You’ll be fine, dude. It’s public high school – don’t sweat it too much.”

Lexa gives her a small smile, nods, and then enters the room.

Kids are sitting around pods of tables, some in chairs some on the tables, and Lexa walks to the older woman in the front of the room.

“Excuse me,” the woman looks at her and smiles.

“Let me guess – you’re Alexandria Woods, the new student.”

Lexa grimaces at the phrase but hopes it looks more like a smile.

“Yes, that is correct, but I like to go by Lexa.”

The teacher holds out her hand and Lexa shakes it with a firm grip.

“Then it’s very nice to meet you, Lexa. My name is Mrs. M. If you just want to take a seat anywhere, announcements should be coming on soon.” Lexa nods and sits at an empty table in the back of the room. She doodles through the chatter and the crackling speakers with the announcements. The first period bell rings after a few minutes, and Lexa takes a deep breath before standing from the table.

She manages to push her way through the crowds and to the gym locker rooms. Lexa manages to find her gym teacher, a tiny, super-fit, and totally a soccer mom, woman. She gives Lexa her gym locker and tells her to not worry about participating today, and just for her to have a uniform by the end of the week.

Her gym class moves to the gym after everyone finishes getting changed, and it’s pretty uneventful. The only interesting thing for Lexa was watching two of the girls in her class interact: they were obviously good friends with how they kept making fun of each other. One of the girls had a brace on her leg, but it didn’t seem to stop her from participating – Lexa liked her determination.

The next period for Lexa was pre-calc, something she was not really looking forward to. It’s not that she wasn’t good at math, it’s just that she wasn’t perfect at math. And, well, frankly that bothered her. She can still picture her Mother’s disappointed face whenever she brought home a math test that was below an A.

Lexa only gets lost once in the crowded hallways as she walks to pre-calc. The bell hasn’t rang yet when she gets there, so she quickly finds an empty seat in the back. She takes out her notebook and pencil, straightening them on the desk, and waits with a hammering heart for the class to start. The bell rings and Lexa swallows back her nerves.

Just before the teacher goes to close the door, the girl from Lexa’s gym class – the one with the brace – pushes through.

“Nice of you to decide to join us, Raven,” the teacher rolls his eyes. Lexa assumes this happens frequently.

“The pleasure is all mine, Mr. S,” the girl, _Raven_ , smirks back. She makes her way to the back of the room, right to where Lexa is sitting. When she gets to her, Raven raises an eyebrow.

“Hey new girl, you’re in my seat.”

Lexa’s eyes widen and she quickly starts to fumble to gather up her supplies, ready to move to another table. But Raven just laughs and drops down into the desk next to Lexa.

“Calm down, I’m just kidding with you. Well – that _is_ my seat, technically, but you can sit there. Besides, this gives me a wonderful view of Sinclair,” Raven smiles over to Lexa, and Lexa feels herself calming down.

_Jesus, Lexa, two seconds of interaction and you already made yourself look like a fool._

“I’m Raven, by the way, in case you didn’t catch that already.” Raven holds out her hand for Lexa to shake. “Aren’t you in my gym class?”

Lexa discreetly wipes her hand on her pants before grabbing Raven’s hand.

“Nice to meet you, Raven. And yes, that is correct, I’m–”

“– Alexandria Woods.”

Lexa turns back to the front of the class room and let’s go of Raven’s hand to raise it for the teacher.

“I actually go by Lexa, if you don’t mind, sir.” She is proud of the fact that her voice does not waver.

The teacher, Mr. Sinclair, raises his eyebrows and scribbles down on the clipboard in his hand.

“’Sir?’ Maybe it’s a good thing you’re sitting next to Raven. Maybe you’ll be able to teach her proper manners. Or at least how to get to class on time.”

Raven lets out a loud gasp and brings a hand to her chest.

“Mr. S, I am absolutely _offended_ you would _ever_ insinuate anything like that about _moi_. I am never late,” at the teacher’s look of disbelief, Raven continues. “Everyone else is just always early.”

Mr. Sinclair rolls his eyes and looks back to Lexa.

“Regardless, welcome to pre-calc, Lexa. My name is Mr. Sinclair, please let me know if I can help you in anyway. Right, okay class, let’s start the drill…”

Lexa opens her journal to a blank page to start working on the equation on the board. However, Raven continues talking to her.

“So Woods, huh?” Lexa glances over to see Raven’s smirk. “You don’t happen to be related to a one Anya Woods, would you?”

Lexa nods, “yes, she is my cousin.”

Raven slowly nods in return. “Totally called it,” she says with pursed lips, looking over Lexa. Lexa tries to not fold into herself. “You both’ve got that whole _I’m totally mysterious but a total babe_ vibe going on.”

Lexa blushes and turns back to her equation.

“I am not quite sure what you mean by that, but I am going to take it as a compliment.”

“Oh, it was totally meant as one,” Raven answers with a chuckle.

They work on their drills in silence until Raven, once again, breaks it.

“By the way, what lunch do you have?”

Lexa stops glaring at her paper to glance over to Raven… who is sitting with her feet up on the desk without a care in the world.

_Either she really does not care at all about this class, or she is just really good. Please let it be the latter… Maybe she could help tutor me…_

“Um, fourth lunch,” is Lexa’s distracted answer. Raven grins in return.

“Sweet, that’s mine, too! You should totally sit with me and my friends – if you don’t already have plans, of course.”

Lexa blinks and offers Raven a small smile.

“That… is very kind of you. Thank you for the offer. But unfortunately I think I’m already sitting with someone? He sort of asked me yesterday.”

Raven nods in understanding. “That’s cool! Just figured I’d ask. Who was it, by the way? Who asked you to sit with them? Because I know pretty much everyone in this school and I can totally give you the run down as to who to avoid and who to hang out with all the time. Of course I’m naturally in the cooler group.” It’s said with a smirk and Lexa is beginning to think that is just Raven’s default facial expression.

“I believe his name is Wells.”

And then Raven is laughing.

“Of course Wells asked you. But that’s perfect – looks like you’ll still be sitting with me and my friends,” Raven grins at Lexa, and Lexa smiles back. “Like I said, we’re pretty much the cool kids here at Ark.”

“Do not forget humble,” Lexa says without thinking. She’s about to start seriously regretting that slip, but then Raven just smiles wider at her.

“Yeah, I like you, Woods. I think you’ll fit in just fine with us. Oh, do you remember Octavia? That other hot chick in our gym class I was partners with? Well she’ll be at our table as well. What class do you have next?”

Lexa pulls out the schedule from in her pocket.

“I have AP World History.”

Raven nods.

“Okay, so you’ll have Wells in that class. He’ll probably wait for you and show you to the table like the good little boy he is. And, trust me, you’re going to love everyone else.”

The class moves onto the lesson for the day, but Lexa can’t help but feel a weight slowly slip from her shoulders.

_It’s going to be good here. I believe it._

*****

Wells is in fact in Lexa’s AP World History class. He is already sitting in a seat towards the front, and when he sees her walking in the room, he waves her down with a smile.

She places her things on the desk next to him and takes a seat.

“Hey Lexa! How’s your first day going so far? You haven’t gotten lost too many times, have you?” Wells chuckles and Lexa smiles slightly at him.

“Hello, Wells. It is nice to see you again. My day is going well so far. Fortunately, I’ve been able to successfully navigate the halls and find my way around. How has your day been going?”

“Eh, it’s alright. Another day, another dollar I’m not making. Art was interesting this morning, though. I’m taking the class with one of my friends, which I thought was going to be a fun time. Nope. So wrong with that. I can barely manage a stick figure and she’s over there painting the next Mona Lisa.”

Lexa is thankful that Wells decides to continue speaking about his morning so he doesn’t catch the way Lexa seems to stop breathing for a moment.

 _Could he be talking about…_?

Lexa isn’t proud to admit it, but whenever she walked the halls or entered a new classroom, she first looks around for a certain blonde. She couldn’t get Clarke out of her head all day, and so far Lexa has been disappointed she hasn’t run into the other girl yet.

 _The school isn’t even that big_.

“… and he walked away with my pencil. That was my favorite pencil.”

Lexa blinks to focus back on Wells. She panics slightly from not paying attention to what he was saying, but she settles on a small sympathetic face.

“I am very sorry to hear that, Wells.”

The boy just shrugs and smiles at her.

“Nah, it’s cool. There’s plenty of pencils in the case, ya know?” He laughs at his own joke and Lexa forces a smile.

“Exactly,” Lexa supplies, not really sure how to respond to him.

Luckily the bells rings and the teacher beings class. Wells turns out to have similar note taking habits as Lexa, both of them paying attention to the teacher and not talking. It’s amazing to Lexa that Wells and Raven are friends considering their different studying habits.

When the bells rings signaling the end of the period, Wells looks to Lexa.

“Hey, do you still want to sit with me and my friends? You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but there’s a seat open if you do want to.” His smile is kind, and even if Lexa hadn’t already said yes to both him and Raven, she probably would have said yes eventually.

“Of course, if you still don’t mind me joining you.” Lexa stands and hugs her journal to her chest. Wells laughs and shakes his head.

“Course not, Lexa. Everyone is going to love you, I just know it. If you want, I can walk you to your locker and show you to the table? Introduce you to everyone?”

Lexa tries not to laugh when she thinks about what Raven said last period.

“That would be lovely, thank you Wells.”

He nods and leads them out of the classroom and down the hall. As they make their way to Lexa’s locker, Wells points out the different classrooms and gives a quick rundown of some of the teachers. They walk down the stairs and Lexa tries to keep herself from glances at Clarke’s art hanging on the walls.

(She completely fails.)

When they make it back upstairs, they make a stop at Wells’ locker so he could grab his own lunch. By the time they make it there, the lunchroom is already filled with students. Wells leads them through the lines of people and the crowds around certain tables. Lexa grips the brown bag tighter in her hands.

Eventually, they walk up to a table towards the back of the room. Almost all of the seats are filled, save for three. Everyone looks up when Wells and Lexa get there, and Raven – who is sitting next to Octavia – grins up at her.

“Glad you could make it,” Raven tells her. Lexa smiles and nods in return.

“Guys,” Wells starts and motions towards her, “this is Lexa Woods. She’s a new student here, and I told her she could join us for lunch.” Lexa gives a small wave to the people looking at her, but thankfully, they all are smiling.

“Lexa, this is Raven, Octavia, Monty, Miller, Harper, Monroe, and Jasper.” He points to them, and they all greet Lexa with a smile and a wave.

She takes a seat in the vacant spot next to Raven, the only one she really knows besides Wells, and the boy take the open seat across the table from her. The last open seat is next to Lexa at the very end of the table. She opens her brown bag just as Lexa speaks to her.

“So how horribly boring was AP World with our golden boy Wells here?”

Before Lexa could reply, Wells throws a balled up piece of his bag at Raven.

“At least I pay attention during class, _Raven_.”

Raven holds up her hands.

“Listen, I don’t have to pay attention in class. I could probably teach it if I wanted to.”

“We can’t all be super geniuses like you, Raven,” a voice rings out from above Lexa, and she turns to see who joined them.

When she looks into sparkling eyes, Lexa can’t help but gasp.

 _Clarke_.

“Nice of you to finally join us mere peasants, Princess,” Octavia leans over Raven to speak to Clarke. She just smiles and tilts her head.

“You’re welcome, Octavia.”

Lexa hasn’t been able to look away.

Clarke looks at her and smiles, and it’s soft and happy and Lexa feels herself begin to blush.

“Clarke, this is Lexa. She’s new here,” Wells introduces from the other side of the table.

“We’ve met,” Clarke says, but she holds her hand out for Lexa to shake anyway.

Which she does. And she ignores the way her fingers shake and the way they hold the handshake for two seconds too long. But, mostly, Lexa ignores how the last thing she wanted to was let go of Clarke’s soft hand.

Lexa clears her throat and fights back the blush.

“It is nice to see you again, Clarke,” Lexa says softly. She swallows and tries to make her voice strong again. “I hope you have been able to make progress on your painting. I’m sure it’s wonderful.”

Clarke grins at her and Lexa’s eyes flutter.

 _Jesus, Lexa, get a grip_.

“I have, thank you for asking. I’ll have to show it to you again. Maybe you could give me some ideas for the final finishing touches.”

Lexa quickly shakes her head. “Oh, no. I am not very artistic – not like you. I’m sure I would only ruin it.”

Clarke smiles again and gently lays her hand on Lexa’s arm.

(Lexa tries not to die. Tries not to let her skin burst into flames.)

“Trust me. You wouldn’t ruin it.”

Lexa bites her lip and Clarke keeps her hand on Lexa’s arm. They sit there, in the middle of a busy and loud cafeteria, smiling at each other like they’re the only ones who are there.

The moment is only broken when Raven lets out a loud laugh. They both look over to see what happened, and Clarke drops her hand.

Lexa misses it immediately.

The turn to see one of the boys ( _Jasper_ , Lexa thinks) furiously wiping up his spilled drink. Lexa hears Clarke chuckling next to her, and in the midst of the bustling room, it’s a nice sound to hear.

The other boy, the one sitting next to Jasper, catches Lexa’s attention.

“So, Lexa, where did you move from?”

 _Monty?_ She’ll have to maybe quietly ask Clarke for a reminder of everyone’s names later.

The question puts the table’s attention back on Lexa, and she tries not to fidget under their stares.

“Just out of the DC area. About two hours away.” Monty nods.

“Anya Woods is her cousin,” supplies Raven beside her. This makes everyone look at Lexa more critically.

“Yeah, I can totally see that.” One of the girls, whose name Lexa forget, eventually says.

“Yeah, totally,” the one next to her agrees.

“Do you have a boyfriend?” This time it comes from Jasper, who has finished cleaning up his spilled drink. He leans forward on the table and winks at her. Lexa is saved from having to answer through her surprise by Octavia leaning forward to flick Jasper on the forehead.

“Hey – what the hell, O?”

“Don’t be such a creep, Jasper. God, the girl literally just sat down.” Octavia sits back down and Jasper rubs the spot she flicked.

“I was just making conversation,” Jasper mumbles.

“You don’t have to answer that,” Clarke says next to Lexa, who turns to look back at her. She is still smiling at Lexa, but it seems forced and tense. Lexa swallows and clears her throat.

“No, it’s okay.” She looks back at Jasper. “I just got out of a relationship, actually.”

“Sucks for him,” Wells adds.

Lexa’s heart pounds in her chest. This is her chance, this is the perfect moment. She can just … casually come out, and everything will be okay. It’s only the first day; she’s sure she could find new friends. Although these kids seemed to be very nice and welcoming already, and Lexa didn’t really want to say goodbye to them so soon, she didn’t want to hide who she is. Not anymore. Not here.

So she takes a deep breath. And then another. And then makes eye contact with Wells.

“She, actually,” she says. And it’s clear and strong and Lexa feels like she’s about to throw up – _but she did it_.

She bites the inside of her lip and waits for the negative reactions. She waits for them to tell her to leave the table. She bites her lip and holds her breath, but she doesn’t look away from Wells.

But he just shrugs.

“Sorry – sucks for her then,” and then he goes back to his lunch.

“Breakups are the worst,” Octavia states.

“Unless you’re dating a dick,” Raven retorts and Clarke leans behind Lexa to give Raven a high five.

“Hell yes,” the two girls laugh.

And that’s the end of it. Everyone turns back to their own conversations, their laughter adding to the din of the cafeteria. No one yells at Lexa, no one scorns her, rejects her. They accept it and move on.

Lexa lets out a quiet, deep breath.

She feels someone’s foot press against hers under the table, and she looks over to see Clarke smiling softly at her. It’s saturated with understanding and happiness and Lexa can’t help but smile back at her.

 _She did it_. She did it and Clarke’s foot is pressed against hers and there’s a spark so hot it feels like its burning – but it’s so nice and new and Lexa _fucking did it_. So she finally turns away from Clarke, their feet still touching, and opens her lunch bag.

Her brows furrow when she sees a folded up piece of paper and pulls it out. Discreetly as possible, Lexa opens the note in her lap.

_Lexa –_

_Happy second first day of school! I hope you have an awesome day and I can’t wait to hear all about it when I get home. Proud of you, kiddo. Make lots of friends!_

_Love,_

_Uncle Gus + Titus_

There was even a paw print.

Lexa feels the tips of her ears burn, and she bites her lip to control the grin from taking over her face.

She hears Clarke chuckle next to her and the other girl nudges Lexa’s shoulder with her own.

“What’s got you all blushy and happy?”

Lexa looks at Clarke and she can feel the blush burning brighter.

“I, um. I just received a nice note, is all,” Lexa waves the paper.

Clarke smiles and bites her lip.

(Lexa swoons.)

She nods to the small piece of paper, “may I?”

Lexa blinks and tears her gaze away from Clarke’s smile. She forgoes talking, not trusting her voice, and nods while handing the note over to Clarke. She watches her read the note, a smile slowly growing on Clarke’s face. When she’s done she hands the note back to Lexa. Their fingers touch and it makes Lexa swallow.

“That was really adorable. Your uncle sounds like a cool guy. Who is Titus?”

Lexa smiles. “Titus is my uncle’s dog.” She bites her lip in contemplation. Lexa quickly looks around the room, searching for any nearby teachers or faculty. “Would you like to see a picture of him?”

Clarke grins and eagerly nods her head. Lexa takes out her new phone and opens her camera roll. She hasn’t taken a lot of photos yet, but most of them are of Titus. She clicks on one where he is practically smiling at the camera and hands her phone to Clarke. She takes it and immediately coos at the screen.

Lexa’s heart skips a beat.

_How can someone be so… Adorable?_

“He is so cute, oh my god. I fucking love big dogs. Oh!” Clarke smiles at Lexa over her phone, “Give me one second real quick.” Lexa nods, not really sure what she’s agreeing to, but she watches Clarke mess around with her phone. Eventually, she hands it back to Lexa with a grin. “There. Now we’re good.”

Lexa looks down to see a new chat open. The name at the top is _Clarke_ with a star emoji next to it. The text that was sent was a simple smiling emoji.

“Now we have each other’s numbers,” and it’s said with a wink, and Lexa is almost positive she actually almost dies this time. She has completely lost the ability to speak so she just smiles and pockets her phone again.

Lexa spends the rest of lunch listening to the conversations around her while eating her lunch. Although, she barely eats any of her food – the butterflies in her stomach taking up too much room.

It didn’t help that Clarke would occasionally brush her arm against Lexa as she reaches across the table or moves to talk to someone.

And her foot never once moves away from Lexa’s.

*****

When the bell rings for the end of lunch, Clarke walks with Lexa up to the trashcans to throw away their trash. The crowd pushes them closer and Lexa suddenly doesn’t mind the cramped space.

They make it out to the hallway where Clarke motions to the stairs that lead down.

“Well, I have to go work some more on my painting, but hopefully I’ll see you later. And, if not, well you have my number now. Feel free to text me whenever about whatever.” Clarke pauses and her smiles softens. “I mean it, Lexa.”

So Lexa smiles, too.

“Of course, Clarke. The same applies for you.”

“Oh, now you’ve done it. I’m never going to stop texting you.” Clarke winks again and Lexa hopes she doesn’t see her blush. “See you later, Lexa.”

“Goodbye, Clarke.” She watches Clarke walk down the stairs before making her way up to the library.

She spends her free period walking through the shelves, becoming acquainted with the books. Lexa finds a comfy chair in front of one of the large windows, and she relaxes and stares out over the back of the school. There are birds flying over the trees, and clouds roll lazily overhead.

It is calm and soothing.

But the period is over far too soon. Lexa makes her way to her music room for her piano class. It is an uneventful period, with Lexa sitting and playing the piano quietly. She has played for many years when she was a child, so minimal effort is needed for this class.

Really, Lexa just spends the class period thinking over her lunch with Clarke, and daydreaming about future lunches with her. She’s never been that girl who become enamored with someone so quickly, but apparently there are exceptions to everything.

Clarke is special, Lexa can already tell. She has only just met the girl, but already Lexa feels like she knows her so well. Like they’ve met before, in another life.

Which is completely absurd and has Lexa rolling her eyes at herself.

 _If only Anya were here to see me now_.

At the scary thought of her cousin catching her swooning like a pathetic schoolgirl, Lexa plucks herself out of her daydreams and focuses on the keys under her fingers.

The bell rings for Lexa’s last class of the day. She briefly wonders how Aden’s day went, hoping he has met some nice people and potential new friends. He’s a sweet kid, she’s sure he’s well on his way to being the popular new kid.

Lexa faintly smiles as she walks into her last class, AP English Literature. It’s a bright classroom with the windows shades open, and the desks are pushed together in pairs. There are a few students milling around the classroom and talking with friends and Lexa starts making her way to an open desk – only to stop short.

“Lexa!”

She looks up curiously. Lexa can feel herself freezing when she spies who called her name.

Clarke.

(Because of course it’s Clarke.)

She’s grinning at Lexa and waving her down to sit next to her. So Lexa walks over to join her, and if her steps are lighter than before, well, she doesn’t notice.

“Hello, Clarke,” Lexa greets her as she sits down. Clarke immediately turns in her seat to face Lexa.

(Lexa has to pinch her thigh to stop herself from staring.)

“Hey, Lexa! How cool is it that we get to have class together? I should have asked you at lunch what your schedule was like, but it looks like it turned out okay.” Clarke smiles and Lexa blushes.

“Yes, it is very fortunate.”

“So, how’s the rest of your day been?” Clarke asks while spinning her pencil. Lexa watches her fingers twirl.

“Um, it’s been alright. I had a free period after lunch so I –“

“You have a free period after lunch?” and Clarke looks so excited, Lexa can’t even bring herself to care about the interruption.

“Yes, I spent it in the library.”

Clarke looks away as she laughs and Lexa finds herself smiling.

“Of course you would,” and Clarke’s eyes are practically shimmering and Lexa feels so tempting to stick out her tongue at her. Which is so childish and so not Lexa.

_What is this girl doing to me?_

“Mockery is not a product of a strong mind, Clarke,” is what she chooses to say instead.

(Clarke just continues smiling at her with this look Lexa can’t quite figure out.)

“I guess you have a point there, Lexa.”

(But Lexa finds she doesn’t care what it means – just as long as Clarke keeps looking at her like that.)

When the teacher calls the class to attention, both girls look away shyly, Clarke settling in her seat the proper way. And when they glance back over to each other at the same moment, they both quickly look away, blushes coloring their cheeks.

*****

After a class filled with not-so-subtle glances back and forth, the last bell of the day finally rings. Both of the girls stand up and Clarke turns to Lexa with a wide smile on her face.

“Congratulations on surviving your first day at Ark High! We seasoned students sincerely wish you the best of luck and that you enjoy your stay with us.”

Lexa smirks and tips her head forward.

“Speaking as a new student to this establishment, it is with great pleasure that I can say that my time here, no matter how short, has been an utmost pleasant experience. I extend my greatest gratitude to the welcoming committee in particular. A job well done, I must say.”

They smile and walk out of the classroom.

“Well then, speaking as the ambassador of the welcoming committee, a position that was most recently – as in this exact moment – decreed upon myself, I can assure you that the pleasure was all ours.”

And they’re jostled when they enter the crowded hallway and it’s loud and stuffy, but Clarke is still grinning at her, and Lexa has to bite her lip to control her own smile. She grips her notebook closer to her chest when her arm brushes against Clarke’s.

“Well my locker is coming up, so I should start pushing through the crowd now. But I really hope you had a good first day, Lexa. I’ll see you tomorrow,” she touches Lexa’s arm with that damn smile that has butterflies in Lexa’s stomach, and all Lexa can do is smile and nod back at her.

“See you tomorrow, ambassador.”

They part with a smile and a laugh that seems to wrap around Lexa, carrying her all the way down to her own locker.

She spies Aden at his locker and Lexa’s pace quickens. He’s not paying attention so she quickly wraps him up in a hug from behind.

“Hey, A.”

“Hello, L.”

She backs out of the embrace and Aden turns to face her with a smile on his face.

“I don’t know how your day went, but, Lex, I already love it here.”

Lexa turns to put in her locker combination, but smiles at Aden’s words.

“I’m so happy to hear that, Aden. I’m assuming everything went well for you? Teachers are alright? Did you make any friends? How was lunch with Anya?” She pulls out her bag and misses the eye roll from Aden.

“Relax, would you?” He smiles when Lexa glares at him. “Yes, everything was good. The teachers are awesome and I met some really cool kids. How bout you?”

Lexa bites the inside of her lip and tries to keep her features neutral.

“It went as well as I had expected it to be.”

They shut their lockers and start making their way to the student parking lot.

“So, what, you didn’t say one word all day and sat alone while automatically acing every quiz, test, and exam the teachers gave you?” Aden raises his hands in mock surrender at the unamused look Lexa gives him. “You did say it went as well as you expected it to be. That could mean many things in Lexa Language.”

Lexa pulls on one of her bag’s straps and rolls her eyes.

“The teachers seem very nice and I’ve made a few… friends.” It’s a foreign word to her, honestly. And she’s not even sure if she should be using that term so early. Of course she would like to be able to someday call herself friends with Raven and Octavia and… Clarke.

(Oh, who is she kidding.)

But Aden just smiles at her and bumps into her side.

“Proud of you, big sis.”

Lexa bumps back into Aden as they push through the doors leading to the parking lot.

“Whatever, _little bro_.”

They see Anya leaning against the car and they walk over, ready to go home.

“ _Shotgun_ ,” Aden yells as he sprints past Lexa… who only rolls her eyes and curses herself for not saying something sooner.

But she glances across the parking lot and sees Clarke with Raven and Octavia standing around a car. She bites her lip as she watches them all laugh and joke with each other. Clarke looks up then and sees Lexa across the parking lot. Lexa is glad Clarke can’t see her blushing from getting caught.

But Clarke just grins and waves, and Lexa shyly raises her own hand to wave back.

Raven sees the interaction and starts waving enthusiastically at Lexa, who waves politely back. Octavia says something to Raven which only makes Raven bend over from laughing so hard. Clarke gives Octavia the middle finger, which makes Lexa raise an eyebrow.

_What was that about?_

Before she could think about it anymore, a car horn scares Lexa back into reality. She turns to see Anya leaning out of the driver’s side window.

“If you wouldn’t mind, I would like to get home _before_ I graduate, thank you very much.”

Lexa just rolls her eyes and gets in the car.

“Little Miss. Popular already, are we?”

“Shut up, Anya,” Lexa mumbles as they start pulling away.

But not before Lexa can smile at Clarke as they drive by.

“So do you kiddies think you’re going to like it here at Ark?”

Lexa smiles to herself and snuggles further down into the warm car seat.

“Yes,” she says, “I think I’m going to really like it here a lot.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hoped you liked the chapter! It's currently finals week so hopefully I'll be back to updating a little more frequently (although I am studying abroad for two weeks at the end of May, so...)
> 
> But thank you so very much for reading and for leaving such kind words! Y'all rock my socks off.
> 
> Come say hey at whatwordsmiss.tumblr.com :)


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